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A message to group mods~ IMPORTANT

HopieRemi June 15th, 2017

I mentioned this in the rooms earlier, but I thought that it was too important just for the people who were there to hear it. I think it is very important that we remember that when we are in a member room, that we are wearing a badge that shows that we are a leader, so we are expected to act as such. Members and other listeners are going to be looking up to us when we are in the rooms, so it is our responsibility to make sure that we are treating everyone fairly. It doesn't look well when a member and a group mod get into a public argument. Sometimes it can be hard when a member points us out, but this is where your leadership comes in, and you have to take the higher ground and step away, swap with another mod or call for backup.

Something else that I feel we should avoid is openly disagreeing with each other as moderators in the room. I am not saying we are all going to always agree, but I am saying that if this is done openly, it takes away from the support that goes for members, and arguments between mods can be confusing for the members, especially when it is about a rule. Also, I feel that if you are a new to modding on 7cups and a mod states something in the room about a rule, you shouldn't challenge them in the room. Not only is it disrespectful and arrogant to someone with more experience, but it just like I stated before takes away from the purpose of the room.

One more thing, don't assume that you can be laid back in a room just because it is mostly chit chat or the room is not a "support" room. In all of the rooms, you are expected to be professional, supportive. Basically, when you are logged into your listener account, and you are in a room, you are there to support and to be an active listener. It's okay to be silly, yes, but you shouldn't be afraid to be a mod, either. You have to enforce the rules.

Before I wrap up this long forum post, I want to add, for your first few weeks as a new mod, and sometimes even more than that, you really should mod with your group mod buddy. I know that it is not mandatory, but it really helps you improve and can help make sure you stay a mod on 7cups!

Alright, I think I have held your time enough, and to those who actually read my whole message, thank you.

- BurningEmber.

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June 15th, 2017

I wholeheartedly agree with everything!! :)

I'd also like to second the final point..moderator buddies are here for your own benefit. Learning from them, with them, will only enhance your experience as a moderator, and it will without a doubt make you better at your role. At the end of the day, moderating is Afterall a never ending learning opportunity.

2 replies
HopieRemi OP June 15th, 2017

@Kara

For sure, modding is a learning experience! and you don't learn well alone.

1 reply
jga75 June 15th, 2017

@BurningEmber it is but can ONLY happen when we are support each other and are on the same page1

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jga75 June 15th, 2017

@BurningEmber i feel this is true. But, as a new mod i havent felt supported. I think this community can do more to make new mod feel welcome and follow through.

jga75 June 15th, 2017

i never had a mod buddy. There are holes here that this community can fix.

3 replies
LeetheUnicorn June 15th, 2017

@jga75 everyone is assigned a mod buddy please talk to Jenna or fluffy if you do not have one

HopieRemi OP June 15th, 2017

@jga75

If you have not gotten a group mod buddy, there is a problem yes. You can message @FluffyUnicorns84 though to get yourself a group mod buddy. I am sorry to hear that you have not felt supported as a group mod. Consider messaging a group mod leader.

fluffyUnicorns84 June 15th, 2017

@jga75 I pm myself with your mod buddy, however if they issues you can contact myself or any other modleader.

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jga75 June 15th, 2017

i havent felt welcome since i started. i offer my time but there is lack of community here. I would say hello to a few people and they would never answer. I feel its important as part of this, to keep in contact, welcome new members to the "staff". I have no felt this as of yet and is saddening.

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jga75 June 15th, 2017

i was said one was there, but never happened. Also, i have found in my experience so far that not all but most of the moderators aren't interested in talking to me. I did this to offer who i am and make this place safer. I expect more from the staff.

5 replies
LeetheUnicorn June 15th, 2017

@jga75 I am sorry to hear that but you do tend to be in rooms that are currently need to be modded, which means our attention is more on the members and supporting them. Also if you have a mod buddy please reach out to them and mod with them as Em mentioned, it can be helpful and you can learn from them.

4 replies
jga75 June 15th, 2017

@TheAsh HI ash, i make a priority to go to rooms that dont have a moderator. As far as the mod buddy even some others i have talked to they didnt get it either! I have even supported a couple in diffiult situations as a peer worker myself. I am just saying there is lots of room for improvement here.

3 replies
LeetheUnicorn June 15th, 2017

@jga75 I get that but we aren't really here to support each other, we are here to help each other in the rooms and maybe form a professional relationship for each other. Our role is to support the members in the rooms and keep the rooms safe. If you need support about your feelings of being a mod that is more of a peer supporters role not a mods.

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jga75 June 15th, 2017

@TheAsh I am not talking about personal feelings i am talking about communication! I dont see a lot team work and this is whats needed. I am sorry you misundersood what i was saying.

1 reply
LeetheUnicorn June 15th, 2017

@jga75 That is because mods communicate through PMs when we are modding, just because you don't see it doesn't mean that it's not happening

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June 15th, 2017

Oh, and, my second post, but!

If you ever feel like you need some moderator-related help, my PMs are always open :) I'm on the group mod buddy rota, so if it's a simple question or an extensive 'battering' of questions I'm always free!

We were all new once, it's okay to reach out for help.

3 replies
jga75 June 15th, 2017

@Kara Thank you kara.

AutumnLeigh June 15th, 2017

@Kara @jga75

Kara, thank you so much for your kind offer!

jga, I know it's difficult to be 'new' and you definitely deserve support and guidance. I, too am a Mod Buddy. In my rather long experience, I've been partnered with several new mods and sadly, the majority decide to jump into rooms without an experienced partner. I agree we should work together and know each other; this system really needs to work both ways.

I would have loved to have been partnered with you, someone who actually wants support and is mindful of being a quality moderator. Welcome to the team! ~Leigh

1 reply
HopieRemi OP June 15th, 2017

@AutumnLeigh

Thank you for being so kind to offer, Leigh!

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ItsPreeti June 15th, 2017

Wow @BurningEmber. This thread was much needed . Thank you for this.

I strongly agree that mods shouldn't disagree with each other as Mods we are a team smiley We all have different perspectives regarding something and if like two mods in pm continue disagreement then the questions can be asked in Group Mod Zone if I am not wrong .

Thirdly I feel there are new Mods. It takes time for new mods to adjust to such role.In giving the application it's easy but to maintain the position it takes time. So I feel they should contact mod buddy or any mod can help them .Mods never hesitate to help

Fourthly when we are in trouble it's best to have other mod around. As there is other mod to handle situations. We do get triggered but that's the point where we need to follow our role. It's best to be either out of such situation and call a mod if suppose no mod there try deep breathe in

Thank you for such a sweet reminder smiley

Tagging@Becca9345 , @XiTalksSoft, @TheHearter,

AutumnLeigh June 15th, 2017

@BurningEmber

Thank you for your awesome post! I would like to add a few concerns we can all help with. smiley

Many of us announce in all available rooms that we are about to begin a discussion and ask people to join us. Though I like to see those posts, PLEASE be mindful that discussions may already be going on in some rooms. Checking the discussions in progress prior to posting is a tip I find useful. Take a second to check for a blue discussion banner in each room before announcing your discussion and please skip over rooms that are only open during discussions such as the Events or Support Rooms. Members are often confused when seeing other discussion announcements during ongoing discussions.

Concerning Sub-Community Support discussions- though we appreciate a moderator's willingness to help out, please do not post in these guided discussions unless you are trained in those areas. If you'd like to join in for your own benefit, you are most welcome, but if you have a Moderator badge, it's less 'intimidating' to members if you use your member account. Some of our Sub-Communities deal with very sensitive topics. Popping into a discussion room to say, 'Hey everyone! I know it's a rough time for you right now, but you'll be better soon!' is not helpful, though we understand that your intentions are to be supportive.

Thank you, everyone, for your cooperation and your efforts as moderators. You are all much appreciated! heart

Tagging @RumpleSteeleSkin @dancingRainbow45

18 replies
HopieRemi OP June 15th, 2017

@AutumnLeigh

Thank you for this addition to my post! We should definitely not be announcing in rooms with already ongoing discussions! It is rude! Also could not agree more, if you are not the discussion leader trained in the topic, do not go in with platitudes, because that does not help, and it can be very upsetting to hear someone belittle you or compare your experience to a movie. I like your idea of them going on a member account, that way members are not intimidated.

Something else I want to add is that if it is not your discussion, and you have not been asked to do so, please do not moderate that discussion. Each discussion leader has different rules of their discussions. For example, some of my discussions, members can get heated, I don't tend to warn those actively participating because it can shut them down, which is not productive!

Tagging some people who should see this thread and give their brilliant insights

@MissZ @Heather @Jenna @Amelia @Laura

9 replies
LeetheUnicorn June 15th, 2017

@BurningEmber Also I would like to add if it is not your discussion and you have not been asked to please leave the validating to the discussion leader, it's nice to have help BUT I like to summarize when I can and it's hard to when someone else is does all the summarizing.

And if you want to be part of the discussion that is alright BUT it's a discussion and needs to stay on topic, please do not barge in the room with things like "lol" or something random.

8 replies
HopieRemi OP June 15th, 2017

@TheAsh

Definitely agree. Having many people validating can be confusing for the members and leave the discussion host feeling awkward. Make sure the discussion leader needs help before you try to help. It is appreciated that people want to help but sometimes discussion leaders don't like that. And yes, laughing in a support session that requires a serious reaction is not appropriate.

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AutumnLeigh June 15th, 2017

@BurningEmber @TheAsh

Thank you both for your insights! I agree that some of our 'regulars' may be known to one of us and if given a chance, they drop their guard and become awesome supporters. It's important for 2 mods or 2 leaders to be in 1 on 1 with each other so we can communicate and support everyone! laugh

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SpunkyMonkey100 June 15th, 2017

@AutumnLeigh i concur on that statement regarding having another mod barging in whilst there's already a preexisting chat. i think it's safe to say that's rather rude when that happens; it's unfortunate as well because it can not only intimidate and spook a lot of participants unnecessarily but can also be rather disruptive. although admittedly...by no means am i a "really new mod", but i am quite new to leading discussions. and generally speaking for me personally they've been fun thus far, although i have had the odd one or two that haven't gone as well as say i would have liked. no negative feedback! it was just hard for me as someone fairly new to this gig to keep the discussion topic the main focal point when there's so many people deviating onto different tangents. so i have, you know, hollered at a mod before. said to them "you don't have to participate if you don't want to! just help me nudge it in the right direction if things go pear shaped and a stray". which on days where i've not been feeling the best for one reason or another...has actually genuinely really helped me out :\

1 reply
AutumnLeigh June 15th, 2017

@SpunkyMonkey100

Discussions are definitely a challenge when starting out! I applaud you for doing these- and on your own! And you're absolutely right. It can be irritating to have a certain 'vibe' going with your group and have it snap when another mod pops in. We may all have the best of intentions but respecting a discussion and it's leader is important. I know lurking isn't considered acceptable, but I like to see the room, the content and the flow of the conversation before touching the keyboard. Stay Awesome! laugh

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HopieRemi OP June 15th, 2017

@AutumnLeigh

Definitely, if you are going to be leading with someone, open communication is very important. It's like oiling a car! The wheel has to be able to move. I don't drive, my analogy might not make any sense but you know what I mean.

3 replies
AutumnLeigh June 15th, 2017

@BurningEmber

Heehee, I get you hon, though oil doesn't have a lot to do with the steering of a car. LOL. But without the oil, the engine wouldn't last long so both are equally important! heart

2 replies
HopieRemi OP June 15th, 2017

@AutumnLeigh

Hehe glad you get me. heart

1 reply
LeetheUnicorn June 15th, 2017

@BurningEmber @AutumnLeigh @SpunkyMonkey

Thank you for your great input and important you added to this thread!! I hope this can help a lot of the new group mods and they take these words and use them

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June 15th, 2017

@AutumnLeigh
Yes i agree to that statement that's regarding the sub-community support session but what happens, if we look in a general perspective is that a mod badge is often considered as a 'ticket' to act as a moderator in any of the support rooms as they like. Also, myself being a new mod i do know that there are specific moderators appointed by the sub-community teams to moderate their support sessions just because i am a part of one. But, before joining that team even i wasn't knowing that as it isn't stated anywhere to be honest like in any of the guides or training material nor it's taught in the trainings so maybe including such small but crucial points in those exhaustive guides or including 'em in the trainings could help new moderators understanding their role at different situations in support rooms and also to avoid the internal issues, i hope.

5 replies
AutumnLeigh June 15th, 2017

@firebolt110

Another great point! I'm finding that sometimes this site grows so fast, I struggle to keep up! I think your concern is shared by many and would be a great suggestion for mod leader @Heather! Open communication seems to be a key priority for everyone here. Stay Awesome! <3

3 replies
ItsPreeti June 15th, 2017

smiley@AutumnLeigh

1 reply
AutumnLeigh June 15th, 2017

laugh@JovialOne

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June 15th, 2017

@AutumnLeigh thank you so much for being understanding and supportive. I really appreciate the helpfulness you offered. <3 and thanks for all the kind words. You are awesome!

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Rain45 June 18th, 2017

@firebolt110 you have a really valid and great point. As someone on the team for the trauma SC we have set up regular moderators for our members both for the open chat sessions and the support sessions, as we needed to create a sense of safety for the members and its good for the members to have regular mods they feel comfortable with and who are a friendly face :)

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Rain45 June 16th, 2017

@AutumnLeigh Great post and yes it can be difficult for members and even the listeners, if a support session is going on, particularly on a very difficult or sensitive topic for new moderators to then jump into the conversation to announce themselves, or to make other comments. Very often support sessions may be being run by moderators or listeners who are known to the members and who have spent a long time gaining the trust needed, and creating a sense of safety for members to attend some of the support sessions that they do, and it can sometimes feel offputting, even unsafe for some members for someone to interrupt the flow of the support session in progress. I think its good for perhaps new moderators to work alongside those who perhaps have a little more experience and to be perhaps more sensitive to the fact that there may be a really difficult session in place, and that those attending may have had to dig deep, to find the strength and courage to attend.

1 reply
AutumnLeigh June 18th, 2017

@dancingRainbow45

Well said, my friend! <3

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AnimalHugger June 15th, 2017

Any specific reason why I would like to see this ?

2 replies
HopieRemi OP June 15th, 2017

@AnimalHugger

hey. Idk why you were tagged other than you're a mod with experience. Maybe ash wanted your opinion ?

Juniter June 16th, 2017

@AnimalHugger It's a good thing for all mods to see. Maybe someone wanted your opinion on it, thought you could keep it as a helpful resource, or maybe they just thought you'd like the post. It might be a good idea to PM the person that tagged you instead of publicly asking in the forums, especially if it's bothering you.

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PassionatePeyton June 15th, 2017

@BurningEmber

Thank you for posting this, Ember!
I think this is a good little set of reminders we should always keep in mind as Group Mods. yes

1 reply
HopieRemi OP June 15th, 2017

@PassionatePeyton

You are welcome!

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niamh333 June 15th, 2017

@BurningEmber Great reminders Emby! Thanks <3