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What Is Ambiguous Loss?

innateJoy9602 February 21st, 2023

"Ambiguous loss is loss that's unclear. It can feel like something has been taken from you. Like a loved one with mental illness, the person is alive but changed.

Type One: Physically Absent but Still in Your Thoughts

This type of ambiguous loss can occur when a loved one is physically absent, but they are still very much present psychologically—in the minds and hearts of those who are missing them.

Straightforward examples include grief over soldiers missing in action, a child who has run away or been abducted, a loved one whose body was never recovered after a terrorist attack.

Friends, lovers, and families who drift from each or become estranged can also experience ambiguous loss if they don’t have clarity about what ended their relationship and are all-too-aware that the person is walking around in the world.

Type Two: Physically Present but Emotionally Absent

The other type of ambiguous loss occurs when a person is physically present but is psychologically or emotionally absent. Examples might include a loved one who is living with Alzheimer’s or traumatic brain damage. Or a parent, sibling, or partner who has fallen into the grips of addiction or mental illness. It can also be the longing that family members experience when a parent is emotionally detached, due to such issues as a preoccupation with work or their own challenges with intimacy.

How to Cope with Ambiguous Grief

  • Accept ambiguity
  • Name what you are experiencing
  • Think in terms of both/and not either/or
  • Find mutual connection
  • Find meaning through action
  • Take care of yourself
  • Know when to seek help"

Read the full article on Psycom

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Takeaway: Ambiguous loss is a type of loss that is unclear and can feel like something has been taken away. There are two types of ambiguous loss: physically absent but still in your thoughts and physically present but emotionally absent.

Reflection: Have you experienced ambiguous loss?

#Loss #Grief #Family #Friendship #Ambiguous #MentalHealth #Coping


If you liked this article, you may also enjoy: "Dealing With Pet Loss: How To Help a Grieving Pet Parent"

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toughTiger6481 February 24th, 2023

@innateJoy9602

if we look around and see so many lost ... homeless or otherwise gone ........ i have a sibling that seemingly disappeared we might think she is homeless or somewhere but we cannot find her ..... maybe she does not want to be found .........

1 reply
innateJoy9602 OP February 24th, 2023

@toughTiger6481

I’m very sorry about her disappearance. It must be incredibly difficult on you and your family not knowing where she is. Whatever the reason, I hope that you are able to find some peace and closure. Sending many positive thoughts <3 💜💜

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tidylemon5931 March 2nd, 2023

I'm experiencing it right now. The person I was supposed to marry became estranged towards me and ended our 5 year relationship this time last year. I felt loss then with him being physically present but not emotionally distant and now I am feeling the other one where he's not physically present but lives 5 minutes away from me , haven't heard from him since the breakup or seen him.


1 reply
innateJoy9602 OP March 3rd, 2023

@tidylemon5931

Ambiguous loss can be confusing and difficult to process. I’m very sorry you’re experiencing it. Especially, when it’s related to a relationship that was an important part of your life for so long. I completely get how you would be feeling a sense of loss now. 💜

1 reply
tidylemon5931 March 4th, 2023

Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I wish I had a timeline for when this grief would end, it feels like it would be easier.

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mytwistedsoul May 11th, 2023

I struggle with the first one alot now but have dealt with the second as well a few years ago when my grandmother was alive. She had Alzheimer's

1 reply
innateJoy9602 OP May 11th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

Soul <3

I'm sorry you've experienced both of them.

Can't imagine how difficult that must have been for your family.💜

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