They Existed: Finding Strength in Grief

A Gentle Heads-Up
This post touches on grief and losing someone you love. If this feels heavy, take your time, and remember to be kind to yourself as you read. 💛

In 2023, I lost a dear friend who had been a part of my life through 7 Cups. Their absence left me a void that I felt could never be filled. Grief arrived like an uninvited guest—one I didn’t know how to face. I was lost. I felt helpless.

That's when I found Maya Angelou’s poem When Great Trees Fall. 

The poem:

When great trees fall,
rocks on distant hills shudder,
lions hunker down
in tall grasses,
and even elephants
lumber after safety.

When great trees fall
in forests,
small things recoil into silence,
their senses
eroded beyond fear.

When great souls die,
the air around us becomes
light, rare, sterile.
We breathe, briefly.
Our eyes, briefly,
see with
a hurtful clarity.
Our memory, suddenly sharpened,
examines,
gnaws on kind words
unsaid,
promised walks
never taken.

Great souls die and
our reality, bound to
them, takes leave of us.
Our souls,
dependent upon their
nurture,
now shrink, wizened.
Our minds, formed
and informed by their
radiance,
fall away.
We are not so much maddened
as reduced to the unutterable ignorance
of dark, cold
caves.

And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For they existed.

This poem is more than just words on a page—it is a reflection of the human experience of grief. Angelou speaks of loss as a traumatic yet inevitable part of human life- one that leaves despair in its wake. The poem uses an extended metaphor of a tree falling in the jungle and its effects on the fauna to describe the enormity of death and its impact on those struggling to cope in its aftermath.

When the people who brought light into our lives are gone, the world feels quieter, less vibrant, as though the very air has grown still, uncertain of how to move forward. Our reality takes leave of us. And that's okay. But Angelou doesn’t leave us in despair; The poet reminds us that grief can seem all-consuming, but peace blooms over time. The poet reassures us that healing, though slow, will come.

"Our senses, restored, never to be the same, whisper to us: They existed. They existed. We can be. Be and be better. For they existed."

We might never be the same again- the pain and sorrow might never leave us, yet the memory of the great soul will linger and continue to shape our lives. Because this great soul existed, we can be better versions of ourselves. Her poem reminds us that grief is not just about sadness—it is about remembering, honouring, and eventually finding strength in the void left by those we lose.

So, to anyone who’s grieving, remember it’s okay to feel sad, but it’s also okay to laugh at the silly memories, to smile at their quirks, and to find comfort in the joy they brought into your life. After all, as Angelou says, “they existed.” And because they did, we’re left with not just the sorrow, but the incredible gift of knowing them. Keep their light alive, and don’t forget to smile when the memories make your heart feel full.

<3