Supporting Someone Going Through Grief🌻

Hey everyone! I hope you are doing well. Today we are going to talk about how we can help a friend or anyone through grief!🌸

Grief is a very personal and complex experience, and it can be really difficult to know how best to support someone who’s going through it. It's hard to accept that you can't take their pain away, but your presence is more important than it seems. 🌺

It’s okay if you don’t know what to say. Just saying you are sorry or reaching out even if you don’t hear back so they are not alone can mean a lot. Your presence, phone calls, letters, can be comforting and reassuring. Nobody should go through grief alone. ☔️

Sometimes people are afraid to talk and ask questions because they are worried it will make your person more emotional. Many people who are going through grief want to talk about their loved one and need to tell their story over and over to someone who can listen patiently. There is nothing wrong with being emotional or crying. You can sit with your friend though those emotions 💟

It's okie to say the person’s name (unless they say otherwise). Some people really want to hear their loved one’s name. It hurts so much more when no one talks about the person they lost. 🦋

As a friend you might want to help out! However, Instead of saying, “let me know what I can do”, just go ahead or offer to help with specific tasks. 🐳

...drop off a meal
...help with the kids
...make phone calls, organize the mail or bills

Realize that the grief journey is ongoing and is different for everyone. Some people need time off while others need to return to work, some like group support while others may want to read, etc. Let the person know it is okay to grieve in their own way. They can make those judgments, not you. 🧩

It can be a scary and overwhelming experience and can be hard to know where it is okie to turn for support. You can help get your friend connected to support. Take their lead but also let them know where they can get support if wanted like support groups, therapy, books, others going through grief, etc. 🪴

While we probably have the best intentions it can be important to educate yourself a bit and be mindful of your words. Some things probably want to avoid saying to your friend:

He's in a better place

You need to move on

I know how you feel

Everything happens for a reason

Be strong

How are you 🛻

There are going to be special dates in the future that need to be mindful of needing grace and extra support. Anniversary of the loss, birthday, wedding, anniversary, holidays may be very hard days and bring lots of emotions. Sometimes helping make new traditions if appropriate can be nice.🌊

Be a friend for the long run. I think that support often disappears after the first month or so.. Grief doesn't have a deadline nor does it stop after a month. Keep writing notes, meals, letters, whatever way you have found to support your person, keep doing it. Keep remembering and talking about the person who died. Even though they are no longer living, they are still an important part of their life.🌧️

Everyone has different needs and wants! Some of these points made will not be helpful for your friends and that is okie. Take time to listen and adapt to your person. 👾

Don’t worry about getting it “right.” Just showing up with kindness and care is what matters most. Your love and compassion will go a long way in helping your person feeling supported during such a difficult time.🦄

Sending love to everyone who’s grieving or supporting someone through grief. You’re not alone, and you are seen and appreciated. 🌷

Discussion questions:

How have you helped someone in grief?💗

How do you wish someone would have helped you?💖

Are there anything that you have found unhelpful? 💕

(resources used NAMI)