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Still Grieving

Mdreaming101 August 15th, 2023

My dear brother deceased 1.16.22

Today 8.15.23.

I scrolled through my contact list for another purpose and found myself lost in memories. His name, his phone # - they were still all there in my contact list. The old texts. The old pictures. So much memories. The dam I had built broke. I was overwhelm - this overbearing sensation that I cannot call, I cannot text him. He was there and then he wasn't there.

I found myself wanting more to live in the past. The time where we were young, naïve, and lost in our dreams. When mom and dad were still together. When our apartments still had cockroaches. When we four little kids squeezed together in front of the only computer we had, watching animes. Our childhood weren't the best but it were the most innocent and free of life duality.

I feel I am reaching a breaking point and I don't know how to hold on. He is just one of my many life's struggles but he is the one thing that hit the strongest and is the hardest to move on from.

2
patientSky1754 August 15th, 2023

@Mdreaming101

Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one, especially a sibling, can be incredibly painful and overwhelming. It's completely normal to feel a flood of emotions when you come across reminders of your brother, like his name and old messages. Memories have a way of taking us back to a time when things were different, simpler, and filled with innocence. It's natural to long for those moments and wish for things to be as they were.

Grief has a way of making us yearn for what we've lost. It can feel impossible to move on from the pain and emptiness that comes with the absence of someone so dear to us. Healing takes time and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Finding healthy coping mechanisms and support is crucial during this difficult time.

Remember it's okay to feel overwhelmed and to grieve deeply. Your brother's passing is a significant loss, and it's normal to struggle with moving forward. Take things one day at a time, be kind to yourself, and allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up.

HealingTalk August 15th, 2023

@Mdreaming101

Hey there, I'm really sorry about your brother passing away. It sounds like you stumbled upon his contact in your phone and got hit hard by the memories – texts, pictures, the whole deal. That emotional dam you built kind of burst, and you're feeling totally overwhelmed. It's like this weight that you can't text or call him anymore, like he used to be there and now he's not.

You're longing for the past, the times when you and your bro were young and carefree, when life was simpler with your folks together, even if your place had its share of cockroach visitors. Those memories are special, right? Childhood innocence is a real gem.

But I get it, this grief is making you feel like you're at your limit. Like, you're not sure how to keep it together. Your brother's passing is hitting you the hardest, even though life's thrown other curveballs your way. Moving on from this feels nearly impossible right now.

It's okay to feel all this. Grieving takes time, and it's okay to ask for help when you need it. Sharing it here is a great first step. Talking to a listener for long about your brother might help much too.

It might also be a good idea to talk to someone you trust about what you're feeling, a friend, family member, or even a therapist, they could offer some support and help you find ways to cope.

Talking about him, how much you miss him, honoring his memory as a great brother, all this might help you cope.

As said, grieving takes, time.

Remember him, talk and share your feelings, and at the same time, be patient and take care of yourself.

I wish you feel better soon.

Keep coming to this community to share your emotions and to keep us updated about how you are feeling.

See you soon around here.

All the best!

Marcelo.