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My loved ones loss

blueOcean6753 June 16th

My husband just lost his father and it's tearing him apart inside. He's picked up drinking and pill use to deal with the grief. He has stopped taking care of himself also completely let himself go. Any advise on what I can do on my end for him? I just listen to him and try to encourage a better lifestyle. I have even called therapists for him and not getting through. I know I can't rush his grief but just trying to help him find a healthier way to get through each day.

2
mytwistedsoul June 17th

@blueOcean6753 I'm so sorry for the loss of his father. Losing a parent is hard. I know it's harder than I thought it would be. He sounds really depressed. It's good you listen to him. Drinking and pills numb the pain. He has all this pain and all these complicated emotions and doesn't know what to do with it

 Sometimes it can be easier for guys to talk with other guys that lost a father. Maybe there's a bereavement group he could join? Or a grief counselor or even a minister?

Right now for him everything is a first. The first birthday without him. Today was father's day without his father. There maybe things he wishes he would have said to him. Or things he wishes he did not say. Maybe they talked about doing something together and it never happened. He might be  angry and sad and feeling lost. I've been told the first two years are the hardest 

Is there maybe something he could work on? Something that maybe he and his father shared an interest in? It might help him feel closer to him right now. It might help work through his grief and pain
*sending you both good vibes and warm thoughts* 
Tinywhisper11 June 17th

@blueOcean6753 awww I'm sorry for your husband and your loss, it's never easy the grieving process😥 luckily he has a loving wife, who is reaching out on his behalf ❤ we all grieve in different ways, I think it's important right now to just let him know he's loved, maybe do little things to make him feel special, like a box of chocolates, or flowers, perhaps even just a note he can find (this may sound a bit girly, but whatever he likes). It always helps to if he can talk to a friend or someone he doesn't know, cause he might be able to express himself better with someone else, for the only reason he might not want to hurt you by talking about things. Hugs you tightly ❤ I'm right here if you need to talk ❤