My fiancé passed away
Hi. I’m here because my fiancé was killed in a car accident last month and I’m having a really hard time 😞
@GrnEyedScorpio77
Hello. It's very sad to hear about your loss.
The person I loved died suddenly over 2 years ago. I still remember how I felt when she was taken away from me. Just like it was yesterday...
I know there are no words to comfort you now, but... I am with you.
@GrnEyedScorpio77
Hello, I am so sorry to hear about your tragic loss. I can't begin to imagine how painful the loss was for you. How have you been managing?
@HopieRemi
Thank you so much. 🙏🏻❤️ it’s been difficult. I’ve been talking to a therapist and I’ve joined several online support groups. I started a grief journal. I guess I’m doing the best I can. Some days are worse than others. I just miss him so much and I miss our life together. I feel so sad and lonesome and scared all the time. I think I’m still trying to process everything. It was such a traumatic day. It doesn’t seem real sometimes. Like a nightmare I can’t wake up from. Thank goodness for my daughter because if I didn’t have her to keep me going, I’m not sure what shape I’d be in. Today is my birthday so that’s bringing a lot of different emotions.
@GrnEyedScorpio77
You're welcome. I am glad to hear that you have a therapist and a support group to help you navigate your feelings of grief. Grief journals are a great way to track where you are in the grieving. I can understand how some days are harder than other days. All you are feeling is 100 percent valid and understandable. The loss is tragic and unexpected, so it makes sense for it to feel unreal. I am glad to hear that you have your daughter to help you keep going. Oh, happy birthday, I can imagine that a special day like that would be bringing around all different feelings.
@GrnEyedScorpio77
I am sorry to hear your birthday this year might be less joyful...
Yes, being responsible for a child (or two) in such a difficult time can make the difference. I remember my son talking to me on the phone (he's a very talkative boy) up to the point I was almost asleep from being tired and tears.
I know very personally most of the things you are writing about. Also, I've always been a movie person, and some movies also helped me to process my pain, loss and other feelings.
"Always" is a fable-like movie about the death of a beloved person. Actually, this was the last one we watched together with my fiancée. This was the day I showed her my poems, and she was the person to appreciate it. After losing her I watched "P.S. I love you" for the first time.
When I was deep in the mourning some people told me one of the worst things connected with passing away of a very close person is the lost future - all the things we planned to do together: going to the theatre, a trip to another town, eating dried fruit ice cream, seeing her in a colourful summer dress - but which will happen maybe not in this life...
I wrote a testimony about the beloved person I lost to a website for the people in grief. But it seems they never published it... That's OK. My fiancée is still alive in my memory and every day I am thankful for all those precious moments we had together...
Jacek73 yes the lost future, that is such a hard thing to deal with. I think of all our shows he will never be able to watch the next season of with me. Now I don’t even want to watch them. I think of all the plans we had and how things were finally finally starting to go better for us. It’s so crazy what all of this does to your mind. I was at the dentist the morning he died, and did not find out until my appt was over, that it was him in the wreck that my daughter and I had seen up ahead of us before we turned down another road to get to her school. Just 10 minutes after he left our house that morning. I had immediately texted him about the wreck because I knew if he heard about it he would be worried since it was close to our house. I immediately checked his location and it was showing him at work. I breathed a sigh of relief. I did not realize until I came out of the dentist hours later that his location had not updated yet when I initially checked it and was showing the day before. I had no text back from him which was odd so I checked his location again and my heart sank out of my chest when it showed him at the location of the wreck site. It was the worst moment of my life.
@GrnEyedScorpio77
I swear I replied to you but I can't see my message. How strange. I am glad you have support. I am sorry to hear about it being your birthday and I can understand how special days would be harder as you are grieving. If you see this and want to find time to chat, you are welcome to send me a message.
