My fiancé passed away
Hi. I’m here because my fiancé was killed in a car accident last month and I’m having a really hard time 😞
@GrnEyedScorpio77
Hello. It's very sad to hear about your loss.
The person I loved died suddenly over 2 years ago. I still remember how I felt when she was taken away from me. Just like it was yesterday...
I know there are no words to comfort you now, but... I am with you.
@GrnEyedScorpio77
Hello, I am so sorry to hear about your tragic loss. I can't begin to imagine how painful the loss was for you. How have you been managing?
@HopieRemi
Thank you so much. 🙏🏻❤️ it’s been difficult. I’ve been talking to a therapist and I’ve joined several online support groups. I started a grief journal. I guess I’m doing the best I can. Some days are worse than others. I just miss him so much and I miss our life together. I feel so sad and lonesome and scared all the time. I think I’m still trying to process everything. It was such a traumatic day. It doesn’t seem real sometimes. Like a nightmare I can’t wake up from. Thank goodness for my daughter because if I didn’t have her to keep me going, I’m not sure what shape I’d be in. Today is my birthday so that’s bringing a lot of different emotions.
@GrnEyedScorpio77
You're welcome. I am glad to hear that you have a therapist and a support group to help you navigate your feelings of grief. Grief journals are a great way to track where you are in the grieving. I can understand how some days are harder than other days. All you are feeling is 100 percent valid and understandable. The loss is tragic and unexpected, so it makes sense for it to feel unreal. I am glad to hear that you have your daughter to help you keep going. Oh, happy birthday, I can imagine that a special day like that would be bringing around all different feelings.
HopeRemi thank you so much 🙏🏻❤️
@GrnEyedScorpio77
I am sorry to hear your birthday this year might be less joyful...
Yes, being responsible for a child (or two) in such a difficult time can make the difference. I remember my son talking to me on the phone (he's a very talkative boy) up to the point I was almost asleep from being tired and tears.
I know very personally most of the things you are writing about. Also, I've always been a movie person, and some movies also helped me to process my pain, loss and other feelings.
"Always" is a fable-like movie about the death of a beloved person. Actually, this was the last one we watched together with my fiancée. This was the day I showed her my poems, and she was the person to appreciate it. After losing her I watched "P.S. I love you" for the first time.
When I was deep in the mourning some people told me one of the worst things connected with passing away of a very close person is the lost future - all the things we planned to do together: going to the theatre, a trip to another town, eating dried fruit ice cream, seeing her in a colourful summer dress - but which will happen maybe not in this life...
I wrote a testimony about the beloved person I lost to a website for the people in grief. But it seems they never published it... That's OK. My fiancée is still alive in my memory and every day I am thankful for all those precious moments we had together...
Jacek73 yes the lost future, that is such a hard thing to deal with. I think of all our shows he will never be able to watch the next season of with me. Now I don’t even want to watch them. I think of all the plans we had and how things were finally finally starting to go better for us. It’s so crazy what all of this does to your mind. I was at the dentist the morning he died, and did not find out until my appt was over, that it was him in the wreck that my daughter and I had seen up ahead of us before we turned down another road to get to her school. Just 10 minutes after he left our house that morning. I had immediately texted him about the wreck because I knew if he heard about it he would be worried since it was close to our house. I immediately checked his location and it was showing him at work. I breathed a sigh of relief. I did not realize until I came out of the dentist hours later that his location had not updated yet when I initially checked it and was showing the day before. I had no text back from him which was odd so I checked his location again and my heart sank out of my chest when it showed him at the location of the wreck site. It was the worst moment of my life.
@GrnEyedScorpio77
Yes. I know these things very close...
My love died from a stroke. We were both in the same car just a few hours earlier. If that happened when she drove her car, we could have both perished in a road accident. But somehow she was gone and I had to stay.
I learnt that my girl was in a hospital, in a coma, on the following day, from her adult daughter. I thought she had just been tired after a day at work and had fallen asleep at her home. But she had never made it back there.
She told me she loved me just a few days earlier. I was not in time to tell her that, until she was lying unconscious in the ER room.
These are the moments that can be always fresh in our memory. But also - speaking from my experience - we learn to appreciate every tiniest moment of our lives.
I am so so sorry that you had to find out that way I know that she knew you loved her ❤️
@GrnEyedScorpio77
Thank you. However, please, don't take me wrong: it was not my intention to distract attention from your story with mine. I just wanted to share similar experience. To tell you that you're never alone in what you are going through now.
I think the love and a loving memory of a very close person who passed away have made me a different person. This experience has taught me "to hurry to love people", because sometimes they are passing away, growing up or just leaving quite quickly.
You are right it is scary how quickly we can lose someone. I have had a lot of anxiety since all of this happened. When I’m driving or when my daughter is going somewhere without me. I feel so scared all the time. I am so sorry for your loss and what you have had to experience. I wish that we weren’t on this journey together. It’s not a club I ever wanted to be a part of and I know you didn’t either. But I do want to hear your story and I appreciate you sharing with me. I feel like now the only comfort I get is sharing my experience with someone who understands what I’m going thru and doesn’t judge my feelings and from the hope that I can be that for someone in return and help others.
@GrnEyedScorpio77
Oh, yes. The matter is very serious, but it is also strange sometimes. At work I have a colleague of roughly my age. One day she just vanished from my view for a longer time. I started to think she might have felt bad, fainted or... maybe something worse. Started to ask other co-workers if they've seen her. It turned out she was in other part of the area, just a dozen steps away. I felt like I made a fool of myself ;-( But, indeed, for me there was a moment of a known feeling, I almost panicked.
I am not a very religious person, but still I am convinced that My Love is somewhere around sometimes. And is waiting for me in a place where time is measured in a completely different way...
Belonging to a club no one of us wanted to belong... Beautifully said.
@GrnEyedScorpio77
I swear I replied to you but I can't see my message. How strange. I am glad you have support. I am sorry to hear about it being your birthday and I can understand how special days would be harder as you are grieving. If you see this and want to find time to chat, you are welcome to send me a message.
