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Grandma might not have that much time left

Jaeteuk June 30th

Friday night, we got the news that my grandma, mum's mother, had a sudden heart attack. She's already living in those senior homes as she's in her 90s and had lived by herself for the past 30+ years. She's in Hong Kong, so yesterday, my parents started looking for possible hotels to stay if they are urgently needed to return to see her. I was never that close to my grandma, but it will still be a loss if she doesn't make it. Her primary doctor and cardiologist says that they can't operate on her as with her age, the risks are too high, and they said there aren't really any other treatment. They are only able to make her feel more comfortable, but if an another attack occurs, then, they will let her leave as comfortably as possible. I never met grandpa, as he left before I was born. But I was told by my mum that he knew that my mum was pregnant with me before he left, so I might've still gotten his blessings. The first time I met grandpa was at his grave back in 2008 when I went back to Hong Kong with my parents for vacation. I had a short chat with him then. 

So, there is a possibility that grandma might not have that much time left.. I'm thinking even if it's not an urgent situation, my mum would still need to arrange to return to HK to see her in the near future. In case she suddenly goes. That was what happened with my dad's dad. My dad couldn't make it back in time to say his goodbyes, he was in flight when grandpa left. 

If grandma goes, I think I'll need to take some time off from work. Although I won't be returning to HK with my parents, I think I'll still need time to grieve. Although I was not as close with her during my preschool years in HK, I still remember her visiting us in Canada when I was still in elementary school, as well as, me seeing her in 2008. Those are moments that I'll never forget and they were as if it happened yesterday. I even remember how much she didn't want to leave when we said our goodbyes at our airport. The expression on her face, the tears she wiped away..

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Tinywhisper11 July 1st

@Jaeteuk I'll pray for your grandma ❤ and your family ❤ it must be very hard to live so far apart 😥 especially during theese times when you want to be with your loved ones. Yes working in the hospital surgery rooms, is a stressful job, so you will need to take some time of, process your thoughts and allow yourself to grieve properly. Let's pray that she still has another 10 years in her ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤

2 replies
Jaeteuk OP July 1st

Thank you, Whisper. My heart feels heavy with the news, even knowing she's okay, it still heartbreaking. Too bad I don't have any vacation time or the expenses to take a flight to see her along with my parents. But I have a feeling, my mum might not agree anyways. She'll say that it'll be weird when her grandkid from overseas go visit her, while ones that live in the same country doesn't go visit her. Plus, she might not recognize me, as she's developing dementia too. 

Sadly, looks like my next visit might be along with grandpa..

@Tinywhisper11

1 reply
Tinywhisper11 July 2nd

@Jaeteuk 😥 it's just heartbreaking, I'm so sorry. But maybe not going over to visit her is a good thing. You have a picture in your memory of what she looks like and was like when you met her last ❤ holding on to that image will be better in the long run. Although I understand you would love to see her😥 well next time you visit, even if she has passed. You can take comfort in knowing grandma and grandpa are back together again ❤❤hugs you tightly ❤ my heart goes out to you

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@Jaeteuk The death of a loved one is something that everyone will experience, and from your first description, I can see that this is your first time experiencing the separation of life and death. Although you are not very familiar with your grandmother, she is your family after all, and it is inevitable that you will have emotions. It is a pity that you could not accompany her on her last journey, and I am very sorry. I believe everything will be fine.

1 reply
Jaeteuk OP July 1st

I lost my grandfather a few years ago. My dad's father. I had more memories with him, and I still often think of our times together. I'm often reminded of my grandfather, as my dad's personality resembles him a lot.

The memories of my grandma, although very little, they are still very vivid.

@helpfulhuman778

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Kristynsmama July 2nd

@Jaeteuk

im sorry to hear that your Grandma isn’t doing well.  It’s always difficult with family members age and eventually pass away.    It is normal to need time to grieve.  There is nothing wrong with taking some time off from work if you need to.  I hope that you are comforted by wonderful memories of your Grandma.

~Kristy

Jaeteuk OP July 23rd

Latest update on my Grandma. She's been in-and-out of the hospital because her Senior's Home does not have oxygen tanks for her to use when she experiences shortness of breath. But otherwise, she's doing well. My mum is still planning to see her by end of August, as she doesn't want to leave regrets in case Grandma suddenly goes when my parents go on a Cruise in September. She's been on a fluid diet ever since her first hospitalization, as the doctor says her neck muscles are deteriorating due to old age.

Jaeteuk OP July 28th

So, my parents have made an immediate decision to return to HK to see grandma. She's been in and out of the hospital the past week, with low saturation levels. So, they are leaving tomorrow (Monday) morning, and will be staying for a month. I told my mum to keep me updated on Grandma's condition, although I won't be able to fly back myself.. at least I'll need some time here to grieve if she really goes. I'm getting teary just thinking about it.. 💔