Finding Myself After Trauma and Loss

Hi everyone,

I’m sharing here because I’ve been carrying a lot of grief and loss, and I feel like this might be a space where others understand. My experience isn’t tied to just one event—it’s a combination of things that have shaped the way I see myself and the world.

Over the past few years, I’ve gone through deep emotional pain from losing relationships, parts of myself, and my sense of safety. I was in an abusive relationship where I was constantly manipulated and made to feel like I wasn’t enough. It felt like I was losing myself piece by piece—my confidence, my identity, and my ability to trust not only others but also myself.

Isolation became my refuge. I pulled away from friends and family, and it started to feel normal to be alone. At times, I told myself it was better this way because no one could hurt me again. But in that isolation, I’ve also felt the weight of loneliness and a sense that I’ve trapped myself in a world I didn’t want to live in.

What’s hardest to explain is the grief I feel for the person I used to be. I’ve grieved my past self—the one who was vibrant, open, and hopeful. I’ve also grieved the life I thought I’d have by now, a version of my story that wasn’t shaped by betrayal, fear, and loss. I often feel like I’m starting over, trying to rebuild from the rubble of what was.

I’ve been working on myself, but there are still so many questions that linger:

• How do you rebuild trust when it’s been broken repeatedly? Not just with others, but with yourself?

• How do you rediscover who you are when you feel like your identity has been overshadowed by trauma?

• How do you move forward when you’re afraid to open up and let people in, but you also crave connection?

For those who’ve been through similar struggles, how did you find your way? Did you ever feel like you couldn’t recognize yourself anymore? What helped you begin to rebuild your sense of self?

Healing feels overwhelming sometimes, and I have days when I wonder if I’m strong enough to keep going. But I’m learning to be patient with myself, to take it one step at a time, and to honor the progress I’ve made—even when it feels small.

If you’re reading this and feeling like you’re struggling too, please know you’re not alone. Your pain is valid, and so is your hope for something better. Thank you for letting me share this, and I look forward to hearing from you all.