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1amHuman
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PathStep 36 Compassion hearts47 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2025 Member sinceJanuary 1, 2025
Bio

Survivor of trauma and abuse, navigating a path toward healing. I’ve faced deep betrayal, violence, and emotional turmoil, but I’m dedicated to finding strength and clarity. Here to share, listen, and grow, as I continue my journey of self-discovery, healing, and resilience.


Recent forum posts
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Trigger Warning: Drugging, Manipulation, Psychopathic Behavior
Trauma Support / by 1amHuman
Last post
 January 22nd
...See more -------------------------  For over a year, I endured a cycle of manipulation, violence, and gaslighting that shattered my sense of reality. Not only did he hold a gun to my head on multiple occasions, including one time where I watched him load a shotgun before pressing it against my skull, but he also drugged me with meth for an entire month. I had no idea what was happening to me until I started noticing the changes in my behavior and the toll it was taking on my body. When I finally caught him using, his response wasn’t one of remorse but a chilling justification—he claimed that I used it too, so I couldn’t be mad at him. ------------------------- This manipulation was classic—he used the drugs to control me, keeping me in a vulnerable state so I couldn’t think clearly or leave. His psychopathic tendencies allowed him to view everything as a game—my pain, my fear, my dependence on him—it was all part of his twisted plan to dominate me. He never took responsibility for his actions, and his threats toward me and my family were constant. 9 months later and heavy police intervention and a court order, he continues to reach out daily, alternating between professing love and threatening my life. ------------------------- ------------------------- Thank You For Listening 🫶🏽
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Finding Myself After Trauma and Loss
Grief & Loss / by 1amHuman
Last post
 January 9th
...See more Hi everyone, I’m sharing here because I’ve been carrying a lot of grief and loss, and I feel like this might be a space where others understand. My experience isn’t tied to just one event—it’s a combination of things that have shaped the way I see myself and the world. Over the past few years, I’ve gone through deep emotional pain from losing relationships, parts of myself, and my sense of safety. I was in an abusive relationship where I was constantly manipulated and made to feel like I wasn’t enough. It felt like I was losing myself piece by piece—my confidence, my identity, and my ability to trust not only others but also myself. Isolation became my refuge. I pulled away from friends and family, and it started to feel normal to be alone. At times, I told myself it was better this way because no one could hurt me again. But in that isolation, I’ve also felt the weight of loneliness and a sense that I’ve trapped myself in a world I didn’t want to live in. What’s hardest to explain is the grief I feel for the person I used to be. I’ve grieved my past self—the one who was vibrant, open, and hopeful. I’ve also grieved the life I thought I’d have by now, a version of my story that wasn’t shaped by betrayal, fear, and loss. I often feel like I’m starting over, trying to rebuild from the rubble of what was. I’ve been working on myself, but there are still so many questions that linger: • How do you rebuild trust when it’s been broken repeatedly? Not just with others, but with yourself? • How do you rediscover who you are when you feel like your identity has been overshadowed by trauma? • How do you move forward when you’re afraid to open up and let people in, but you also crave connection? For those who’ve been through similar struggles, how did you find your way? Did you ever feel like you couldn’t recognize yourself anymore? What helped you begin to rebuild your sense of self? Healing feels overwhelming sometimes, and I have days when I wonder if I’m strong enough to keep going. But I’m learning to be patient with myself, to take it one step at a time, and to honor the progress I’ve made—even when it feels small. If you’re reading this and feeling like you’re struggling too, please know you’re not alone. Your pain is valid, and so is your hope for something better. Thank you for letting me share this, and I look forward to hearing from you all.
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