Cancer
3 1/2 years ago my mom lost her very difficult battle with bile duct cancer. I was her caregiver, I cannot explain how difficult this was and the issues COVID added to things were significant. In the end I left my job and moved in and was her only caregivers 24/7. I can go on and on about all the trials and tribulations I have endured since both very real and in my mind, but let's just skip to today. Today I was told my oldest and dearest friend has been diagnosed with the same cancer. The same damn super aggressive cancer with an extremely low survival rate. The same damn cancer that I have been told time and time again is so rare. I have no one to talk to I have no one to hold me up. I have spent the day crying, ugly crying. Laying in bed ugly crying until I needed a shower. I can't explain what a mess I have been. I feel so empty and alone. I cannot wrap my head around what's happening. So many memories ran through my head when I found out. How can I know two people to have this very RARE cancer. How is it that I have to watch someone I love go through this again. To watch someone I love so much die like that again. I just can't, I just don't know what to say.