Cancer
3 1/2 years ago my mom lost her very difficult battle with bile duct cancer. I was her caregiver, I cannot explain how difficult this was and the issues COVID added to things were significant. In the end I left my job and moved in and was her only caregivers 24/7. I can go on and on about all the trials and tribulations I have endured since both very real and in my mind, but let's just skip to today. Today I was told my oldest and dearest friend has been diagnosed with the same cancer. The same damn super aggressive cancer with an extremely low survival rate. The same damn cancer that I have been told time and time again is so rare. I have no one to talk to I have no one to hold me up. I have spent the day crying, ugly crying. Laying in bed ugly crying until I needed a shower. I can't explain what a mess I have been. I feel so empty and alone. I cannot wrap my head around what's happening. So many memories ran through my head when I found out. How can I know two people to have this very RARE cancer. How is it that I have to watch someone I love go through this again. To watch someone I love so much die like that again. I just can't, I just don't know what to say.
@Tikichick
Hi Tiki. First of all I would like to say I’m very sorry for the loss of your mom. Bring a full time caregiver isn’t easy and I admire anyone who can be a full time caregiver.
It is tragic that a dear friend is now facing the same cancer that your mom had. One thing that has helped me is to look for the similarities, not the differences. I felt much like you do- like no one could possibly understand what I went through when I lost my daughter. When I started looking for people who felt the same way that I did instead of looking for someone with the exact details of my loss, I began to feel like I wasn’t alone.
You are strong and you have done this before. If you have done it one time, you can do it again. Your friend is going to need you and she is lucky to have you as a friend to help her through.
I am hosting a group support chat in the Support Session room tonight from 9-11 pm EST. I hope you can stop in and chat with some like minded people who understand your grief.
I truly am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband a couple years ago to terminal cancer. You will have times when you are so sad that you feel like you can’t even get out of the bed. I had a lot of these for the first two years, but eventually, it started getting easier, and I knew that he would never want me to see this way. The pain never fully goes away, but it does get better. I know that my husband is always gonna be my side watching over me just as I feel your loved ones will be too.