Acknowledging our Emotions
Hello, wonderful Grief and Loss Community!
In this second post of our “Emotional Awareness” Event, I propose you to reflect on the need and the benefits of "Acknowledging our Emotions".
We will reflect on how emotions need to be recognized and acknowledged. How they claim to be seen and expressed, and how denial and repression of emotions might lead to negative psychological, physical and even social effects.
Our mind might hide from view some emotions that are painful, like sadness, or that we don’t like to see as part of our personality, like anger. It will hide them in our mind’s “basement”, below ground level, "the unconscious".
But those emotions won’t disappear. If repressed, they might manifest themselves in unhealthy ways. We might increasingly “feel awful” without knowing why. We might become anxious without explanation. We might even suffer physical consequences. Like a wound that is neglected, this might get worse with time.
Repressed emotions worsen our mental health and might lead to exhaustion, stress, and stress-related illnesses. And even hurt valuable relations by treating others in hurtful ways we are not aware of, nor control. Repressing emotions is stressful, mentally demanding, and energy-depleting.
The need for acknowledging our emotions has been recognized in traditional cultures worldwide since time immemorial. Particular rituals were practiced to recognize and express emotions, and very significantly, Grief.
Grief has a prominent, highly visible place in the social life and expressions of most traditional cultures worldwide.
But in our secularized, efficiency-focused, quick-fix-happiness and success-obsessed contemporary culture, emotions might be dismissed or even considered a burden in the way of achieving goals and “success”.
However, we also have in our cultural heritage some elements that promote acknowledging our emotions. For example, in Western culture, there is a tradition that goes back to the Greeks of 500 BC, who encouraged the deliberate expression, or “Catharsis”, of intense emotions through theatre (we now have movies as well for that), and ritualized community gatherings that included music and songs specific to represent and elicit each emotional state.
More recently, we might recall influential thinkers like Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud, whose “Psychoanalysis” has as one of its main goals unearthing emotions that lie deep in the mind, and bringing them to the surface, to consciousness. While psychoanalysis itself lost its appeal as a therapeutic technique, the idea of making visible emotions lying deep and previously unseen, stood strong. and is at the core of most thinking about mental health.
And here at home, in 7 Cups, this concept is central to the book “7 Cups for the Searching Soul” (get it HERE), which condenses in an accessible way the core ideas promoted in our Community. It is also frequently reminded to us in many posts and group support sessions by thoughtful Cupsers. Likewise, acknowledging emotions is one of the main goals of Active Listening, the emotional support practice central to 7 Cups.
Quoting that wonderful book: “You’ll recall the iceberg metaphor. The part above the surface represents the conscious mind. The much larger part below the surface represents the unconscious mind. We like to believe that we are fully aware, but much of what we think, feel, and do actually happens below the surface, outside of our awareness”
Bringing to the surface, recognizing and acknowledging this large part of ourselves that might remain hidden, is the most healthy way to deal with our emotions, even if they might be unpleasant, distressful, or painful.
We will discuss, in upcoming posts, the great value of these wrongly considered “negative” emotions, and why it is crucial to give them a "first seat" in our lives.
Questions:
- What emotions feel the most genuine expressions of your true self?
- Do you have any emotions that seem out of place, like they don’t represent who you are?
- How do you deal with these different groups of emotions?
@HealingTalk my true expressions are, curious, childlike, playful, mostly😁 one emotion I hate is anger. Anger is one of my biggest fears in other people, that's the emotion I don't feel much at al l. I don't know why! How I feel and cope with mood changes, well I struggle, I don't really know how to do that. ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤
Hi, Lola, my loyal reader! :)
Curiosity is a wonderful quality!
I guess I told you that in that test in the IDG course, my main trait turned out to be "Curiosity"...
Anyway.
Curiosity is one of the most advanced mechanisms of the mind. It makes the world around us interesting. And it leads to knowledge. This was the whole point why our species developed curiosity and other "advanced" mammals, particularly the omnivorous, like bears and chimpanzees are so curious. Exploring and knowing their environment allows them to find new sources of food, and better shelters and places to live.
And of course, in "advanced" civilizations curiosity leads to knowledge and science. It always surprises me that the Greeks had a lot of knowledge that might have allowed them to make machines and other technological devices. But they pursued knowledge only because they were curious, they were not interested in practical applications, just appreciating things as they are. They also invented Philosophy, out of pure curiosity, mostly about the nature of reality.
And playing too, is something that appeals to developed minds. Playing is not done for something else (it's not "useful") but for its own sake.
Being curious and playful like a child speaks of a wonderful personality.
Regarding Anger, yes, anger doesn't look nice. But it has its place and reasons. Like a tool that's ugly but useful for performing some task.
Anger arises when we or someone we care about is mistreated, or our boundaries are trespassed. Anger is the energy that protects our boundaries, like an army protects the limits of a nation.
So, as long as you respect people, you don't have anything to fear in terms of justified anger.
Someone angry at you without a reason has a mental health problem, and you might treat them as such. It's not you, it's them. Don't take it personally, but as a symptom of their own mental health issues.
And as soon as possible (if possible), leave the situation and avoid that person.
Dealing with emotions is about what we are discussing in these posts: being aware of them, acknowledging them, accepting them as they are, and channeling them in an appropriate way.
For example, you are good at drawing, creating things, and writing. So one way of channeling emotions would be to express them in an artwork or write about them.
Writing is very powerful when shared with someone. And you do a lot of that in 7 Cups, masterfully. I guess that it helps you significantly as a coping mechanism.
So I think you already have a great and powerful toolkit for dealing with emotions.
Through these means and channels, you express all the rainbow of emotions, from happiness and excitement to sadness and grief.
Dealing with emotions in a healthy way is not about suppressing them, but understanding their causes, validating and expressing them.
So you will continue to feel that emotion, but "processing" it well will improve your mental health, while suppressing or repressing might worsen it.
Thank you again, Lola, for participating in this Forum Event Discussion!
Sending you much love!
See you in the next one!
@Tinywhisper11
@HealingTalk did you just call me a chimpanzee!?!??😮😮😮😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 being on 7 cups and supporting people really does help my own health. And yes I love being creative ❤ and don't worry I always leave at the first signs of anger or drama. I don't like those things. Yep! We have that in common out curiosity 🙂 ❤ hugs you tightly ❤
My genuine expression is fun, outgoing, caring and cautious. Fear is an emotion I absolutely hate and at all cost try to avoid. I try to think ahead on everything to play out scenarios if i will encounter fear. I will avoid it if i feel the slightest fear of the outcome. This backfires alot because i fear the unknown.
It seems like your true self is indeed a vibrant mix! You love having fun, connecting with others, and offering genuine care. But you also admit you have a cautious side that sometimes gets tangled up with a strong fear of the unknown. Planning every detail and avoiding even the slightest hint of fear might seem like a shield, but sometimes it might hold you back. There might be times when you might skip a thrilling adventure because you overthink potential risks.
Maybe this fear may stem from past experiences. But instead of letting it rule you, you might try to befriend it. Starting small, like saying "yes" to unfamiliar invitations even if your palms get sweaty. It's not easy, but the sense of accomplishment afterward might be empowering.
Ultimately, I guess, it is about embracing all facets of yourself - the fun, the caring, and the cautious side. Fear might always be there, but you seem determined not to let it define you.
Your journey continues! Let's see where your courage and curiosity take you next!
@generousWillow348
@HealingTalk
Hi, Marcelo,
Something about your post is deeply soothing, as in giving permission to myself to feel all the feelings, not just some of them. I would like to appreciate you for creating that space.
I miss my dad and mom every day. Perhaps it was because we had such a rocky relationship when I was growing up, and then through young adulthood. I ended up inviting both of them into our home and making a space for them to age gracefully and die.
During those years, I got to know them both better, as individuals and also as a couple. What characters!
My mom's dad's carpet is here in front of me. It took a lot of cleaning. It's over 100 years old. There is something about old things that draws me. We still have a few boxes of both their writing in the garage. When the weather is nicer, I may go out there, and pore through some of it, shred what I am sure I don't want to keep, and perhaps cry a little.
Anyway, I want to appreciate you for bringing this safe space.
In turn, I will send a photo of a calm and serene place.
I hope you like it.
Love, Patience
@HealingTalk Hi there again,
'What emotions feel the most genuine expressions of your true self? Do you have any emotions that seem out of place, like they don’t represent who you are? How do you deal with these different groups of emotions?'
1. I think the emotions that are genuine expression of my true self are integrity, transparency, and charisma.
2. Emotions that I think are out of place is a pervasive sadness or melancholy. It is a part of me, but not the person that I want to be or represent.
3. I deal with these emotions by analyzing them, and figuring out when they are being experiences through certain signals within myself that I can recognize. Then I will alter my environment to make sure that I can experience something different, channeling a different emotions. For example, if I am sad or depressed, maybe I will play some uplifting music and try to have a good time! It all depends on the situation.
Thanks again,
E
