How To Be Internally Happy?

@Intrepidity

Good question ^_^ I think that being internally happy comes with first deciding what does happiness mean to you? What do you think you need to be able to be happy? Then once you know the answer, you can work on what's holding you back from being able to be internally happy. Let me know if you have any more questions. Also I have moved this thread to the psychology of happiness section.

@Intrepidity I myself let go ego and wishing it so much... Just let myself be happy...mostly forget that :p. It may not be some huge happiness but cheer me up at least a bit.

@Intrepidity

The reason why happiness cannot come easily to some people is becuase we are so much a part of what goes on in our environment. Some people seem to think that you can find happiness despite bad external circumstances by finding "peace within yourself" but I find that a rather unrealistic expectation (and a big reason why I think simply meditating everyday will not greatly increase your happiness-- although we can always give it a go since it can still be helpful).

What we can do, however, is acknowledge why we are unhappy, and then try to make changes to our environment. It's not exactly easy for a lot of people, but they don't have to be extravagant changes, such as moving or getting out of a job you hate. They can be little things, such as forming a new healthy habit. This can seem nearly impossible for people with anxiety and depression, but if they any combination of medication, therapy, and a willingness to fight it themselves, that can be life-changing.

I think in order to be eternally happy with yourself you have to love all of you even the parts you dislike so much about yourself. You have to focus on you and making yourself a better person and truly see your self worth as well as the beauty in you.

The moment you stop comparing yourself to others and doing what makes YOU happy, when you are no longer bothered by what others think of you, that is when you have found eternal peace.

Also remember these things take time. Don't pressure yourself to 'become happy' overnight. You're doing great, even just by making the decision to strive towards being happier. That's an awesome start.

Appreciating the time when I feel happy, and also acknowledging sadness as a natural feeling helps me! :D

Socrates put it best: "The beginning of wisdom is a definition of terms." So, I suspect, for as long as we define "happiness" on the basis of external things, well, it'll remain elusive. Happiness, after all, is a STATE of mind. Therefore to ascribe happiness to anything external to that STATE, which is personal, is to naturally court error.

It is no accident that everyone from Jesus said, "The kingdom of heaven is within YOU," to Shakespeare declaring his crown is "made of contentment, a crown that seldom kings enjoy." To achieve such self-satisfaction entails heeding the Delphic Oracle's call to "know thyself." Only by probing into not one's personal existence but human nature in general, can we then go about unfolding a sort of "eudaimonia" into our experience.

Just my thoughts :)

(Btw, for more on happiness in general, check out the website: www.finalspeciescode.com)

@Intrepidity

Hey! I'm so glad you asked this question, as this happens to be a topic I'm very knowledgeable in. First off, I find it extremely admirable for you to reach out to others and admit this is something your struggling with, most people would not put in that time! I'll get to the point, unfortunately you're right, the only way to acheive your fullest capacity for happiness is to learn how to have it internally. This can be super difficult and confusing because no one really explains how to do that right? Truth is, you could get it externally but unless you have an abundant social life already, it's hard to make friends until you've built yourself up into someone people want to be around, so it's a catch 22.

HERE'S THE GREAT PART: There are several easy ways to acheive this quickly (many people don't know them) I've discovered them and it happens to be the basis around my popular newsletter The Wylde Life. I teach you these tactics for free here and I've seen proof that they work again and again.

If you're interested in that, here's the link: damonwylde.com

Hope I've helped.

-Damon Wylde

@Intrepidity

I asked this same question to a former boss who was one of those genuinely happy people. He told me that if I clearly define what my values are and live by them and use that to judge myself, that will eliminate those eternal factors influencing my emotions/ happiness.

For example if I believe providing honest feedback when asked is important. Then if I give honest feedback when asked, then that's good. It won't matter if the person recieves it poorly, takes it personally or of they are very pleased. As the point is not to be liked but rather to do what is in accordance to my beliefs regardless of if people agree with me.

I think to be internally happy is different from outer happiness. We can be content with ourselves without being obviously happy! Life can be hard, but we can still love ourselves even just a little bit!..our lessons are just making us stronger! 😀