A Message to the Depressed

There are some days when even I think I can't do it. The world and my mind seem too overhwelming and I feel completely alone. There was a particular day like this last summer and I found myself on Youtube searching for inspirational speeches to give me even the smallest mustard seed of hope. I found a video with this speech, and it gave me exactly what I needed. I have now seen this video countless times, and I send it to everyone I know when they are feeling the same way. I hope that his honest, heartfelt, humor filled words touch your heart as well. Know you are never alone and you will get through this.

[Sky Williams:]
We all desperately want to be happy. And like Will Smith portrayed happiness isnt guaranteed. We have to pursue it, and I would like to live in a world where happiness, is as easy as buying a soda in vending machine, but its harder than that. Unlike a math test, there is no right answer when it comes to depression, but I know what it feels like, and its more than just not being happy, its like you cant bring yourself to be happy.

You look at the things that you once really loved and enjoy and you just cant find enjoyment in them anymore. Sometimes you cant eat, sometimes you cant sleep and sometimes you cant even move. And then your friends get mad at you, because you dont go out as often or you dont want to respond to text messages, you just cant hold a conversation and suddenly youre the problem, youre the downer, and you really want to, you really want, you really want to go out to the bar and you really want to go out and have fun, but your body just doesnt allow you to. As if something inside you is just forcing you to be down, like thats the normal thing to do and everybody else just doesnt get it.

And not that you ignore people because you dont like them, its just you dont want to go through the same conversion over and over again, want to go out? no Im not feeling that well, why whats wrong, what I can do to help, and thats the problem, you dont even know what you want, you dont even know whats going to make you feel better, you just feel trapped and then what doesnt help is that people trying to tell you how to feel or what to feel or giving you solutions that you know arent going to work.

And they get frustrated, because they want to help you, but they cant and the word that made you feel this way, the words that make you hate the person that you are – just get louder. And all within a matter of moments it feels like youre drowning, and outside there is just so much light and everything is so bright and you just wish that somebody could just dim the lights please, you try to ask yourself what happen between now and then, but sometimes there is no explanation, you could have everything you want in the world and still feel like you have nothing.

Depression is indiscriminate, it doesnt matter how much or how little you have in your life, it can find you and now supposedly we lost Robin Williams, I dont know if its accurate that he took his own life or that the cause was depression, but if it was, it just proves that one of the funniest man in the entire world could not defeat the monster that is depression, its not a joke, look; the only reason I know how this feels, because Ive been there, Ive lost a best friend to it and back than I was ignorant to the feeling, I tried to ask him what he needed from me, but he didnt know and yeah I got frustrated because I couldnt help the person that I cared about and then when I figured it out, it was too late, but if I could go back and have one more conversation with him before he did it this is what I would say.

Im not a miracle worker and I cant promise you much, I cant make the words go away, I cant make you love yourself, I cant give you an appetite to eat and I cant just magically make you sleep, I cant turn back time and magically explain what happened between now and then, I know there is a lot of light outside and I cant dim the lights, but Ive got a room we could hide in, anything you need outside I could bring it you, I turn down the volume and I know that outside world get to really loud but we can close the windows, what I can do is I could wait right here with you until youre ready we can talk all day or I could just sit here and be silent, I could be across the room, where I could be right next to you, we could play Mario party or listen to music. You can use my face to practice your makeup or if you want to hit something then not my face, because you just did my makeup.

We can do whatever you want, just as long as you know that when we leave this room and reenter the world were going to do it together and Im not going anywhere, called up work, tell my friends I couldnt kick it, I brought some movies, my laptop, some videogames, I got entertainment or I could just sit here and talk to you. It doesnt matter what were doing, but throughout the duration of you feeling this way, Im going to be right here until you feel better and when youre ready, you and I will reenter the world together. Okay. Just before you do anything, you let me know. Ill see you guys.

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