Gratitude for unwanted gifts - a question

@GoingInCircles365 I can imagine how challenging this situation is for you. Your approach of reframing the situation as an opportunity to donate is a positive one. It's clear that your family member's love language involves gift-giving, and it's thoughtful of you to appreciate the sentiment behind it. Perhaps if she insists on giving gifts, you can let her know you'd prefer specific items that align with your needs. This way, you can avoid unnecessary clutter, and she still gets the joy of giving. You might even suggest the idea of a gift card or experiences that would be meaningful for you and your kids. Best wishes!

@GoingInCircles365

Hi Circles! 😊 ❤️  Thank you for your forum post and query! I must agree, indeed, your timing is impeccable! It's great that you are reaching out for support, options, thoughts and ideas well before you and your children being in that moment, once again. 

While I cannot provide advice, meaning "you should go and do this", what I can offer to you are my thoughts, tossing around ideas, concepts, brainstorming, etc. Simply a sharing of information in effort to be helpful. Please feel free to never subjugate your thoughts, feelings or process for mine.

I think it's great the ways in which you have handled it thus far. You seem to be an incredibly thoughtful person in understanding that this is their love language, that this makes the giver of the gifts feel good and perhaps for a variety of reasons. Clearly you are a realist and understand that this is what it is that they will do. You have requested alternative ways for your children to truly enjoy the benefits of their generosity however, you understand that the two of you are at an impasse for this. Clearly this person will not acquiesce.

I think it is most kind that you have relinquished control over the matter as well as being a great example to your children on how to be a grateful receiver. Well done my friend! *high fives* 😊 I commend you for having teachable moments with your children on how to be kind, how to say thank you and how to make the giver of the gifts feel good about their efforts. Maybe that was part of the gift 🎁 for them in the long run. Knowing how to behave in these situations will help them in life. It's important to embrace that...it's the thought that counts. ❤️

I gotta' say, I really like your style! I love that you have done your best in how to re frame all of this, how to make positive outcomes as best you again. This too is a wonderful skill that you are teaching, all along to your children. They watch you more than you know. 😊 This gift giver has given you and your family unique opportunities to learn life skills that have lasting effects, much more than anything purchased from a store.

I too am someone that likes to do my best to re frame situations. If I can't change it, perhaps I can change the way I see it all, how it is that I experience it, how I feel about it, how I can turn something into a positive outcome. Having said that.....idea for you of potentially how it is that I would handle this moving forward after exhausting other efforts...

If it were me, I would consider opening up savings accounts in the names of each child. I might create another unique opportunity to teach my children yet another thing about perception of outcomes, how to maximize a situation and in a way that can benefit them so that they could truly be excited about being the recipient of the gifts, but perhaps in a different way.

I have to wonder how much fun it could be to set up ebbbay accts., 2 different ones, one for each child to track the sales if one were to sell the items? The funds come in, gets transferred to their personal savings account for future needs. Wow! Talk about the gift that keeps on giving as one could learn about savings accounts, learn about interest and compound interest, learn about saving for the future for needful things like a first car, down payment on a home, college expenses, emergency fund for later in life, etc.

Be kind of cool to instill an entrepreneurial spirit and maybe see the kids get excited about making a sale. They could learn about the postal system, what a post office looks like, how much things cost to ship and help package these items up.

They, when and if old enough, can learn photography skills, even buy a "light box" to help showcase these brand new items to be sold. The kids could each make a designated corner in their rooms for items to be sold as now they are a proud business owner, lol! 😊 Their stuff, they will need to make space for their little business (side hustle) 😁. 

In researching the cost of the goods before determining their price for it for sale, they might really appreciate how much the giver spent on them, that they tried and were trying to share their treasures with them. Saving boxes from other orders for things that you might get would be good to reduce their business cost for supplies and they can learn about that too. (Cost of doing business).

It could turn into a family project if you would like to. No rush. You could list one thing a week for each child and enjoy conversations over dinner about all of the above. 

Thank you again for your forum post! I enjoyed spending time with you today! If this won't work for your family, it's okay. Perhaps others will come along, see your wonderful post, they may be going through the same thing and see value in the ideas or others hopefully will join us here in the thread and provide us with their helpful insights! 

*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️