Reflecting on my past year

TW - abuse

Hello everyone! Tomorrow marks my official one whole year being a listener on 7cups! I just wanted to start off by saying how grateful I am to this community as a whole and the few people who really helped me motivate myself to stay positive and committed to my volunteer work.

A little over a year ago I joined 7cups as a member because I was coping with a breakup from an abusive partner. I was totally broken and frankly I had lost my identity because of the breakup. I had been dating her for near a year and a half and it was only about 8 months into the relationship when I fully accepted that I was being abused. then took me over half of a year to fully break off the relationship. This was also my first relationship so the breakup was really hard for me. I was in therapy for almost six months and just trying to keep going. It felt like the pain was never going to end, and every time I felt myself happy the feelings and flashbacks set in and ruined my day. I had asked my therapist one day: „am I ever going to forget her, are the feelings of worthlessness and flashbacks of abuse ever go away?“ and he responded, and this is something I will never forget, „no, things like that will never truly go away, however they will disappear little by little everyday. so you just have to keep pushing and bettering yourself.“ 

I will never truly be able to thank the listeners on 7cups, my therapist, and close friends for truly sticking with me and truly listening to me during what I deem as the darkest time in my life. I followed my therapists words and kept pushing myself to do better and be a better person, little by little everyday. Fast forward to May 2023, my therapist tells me that he believes I have turned a corner and if I so choose, I have „graduated“ from therapy. I decided that since the bills were starting to add up and I felt that I could make it on my own, I would stop therapy as of then. 

Back to February 2023, I had decided that I wanted to put my energy into something good, something that I can be really proud of. So I got online and made a listener account on 7cups, this changed my mindset completely. I was hoping to help other people with the emotions I had felt, trying to give back and do the same thing many listeners did to me when I was lost and needed someone to be there. I developed a strong liking to listening and providing support so I continued and eventually passed the verified listener qualifications. Life had seemed to be finally turning a corner for me :)

I tell this sad story followed by how I approached it not to ask for attention but to help someone, hopefully someone who is reading this that when you think there is nothing left, you can always start from the bottom and make it back up. All you gotta do is „get up“ or even ask for someone’s help to „pull you up“ (if you get what I mean). Everyone falls sometimes and some falls hurt more than others but all that matters is that you can get back up and see yourself become stronger because of it. 

Thank you to all who read all of my story. I hope that you all can take something positive away from it! Please feel free to write comments or send me a message if you experienced something similar or just want to chat!