Gratitude can heal Jealousy

Hello lovely Positivity & Gratitude Community, I hope all of you are doing well today! Today we are talking about Jealousy, an emotion that a lot of feel at some point in our life. I will first define what emotion is, briefly mention the difference between basic and complex emotions, what jealousy is and how appreciation and gratitude turn out to be a good means to overcome it (despite how cliche it may sound!).

Let us first define what’s an emotion. Emotion is a strong feeling such as love or anger, or strong feelings in general. Psychology Today says that emotions are generally categorized to be of two types - 1. Basic emotions include sadness, anger, fear, disgust, shame, joy, and surprise, these are considered to be basic emotions because they’re universally recognizable through facial expressions. 2. Complex emotions include grief, regret, and jealousy. These emotions have got layers and are often of a varying combination of basic emotions. An interesting train of thought here is why are basic emotions called basic, and what about people who don’t conform to the universally recognizable facial expression and rather have a different one overall or people who suppress their emotions and they don’t outwardly show it, how do basic emotions then turn out to be basic? Complex emotions as said are varying combination of emotions because they’re different for different people, situations and their culture. Basic emotions at some level are identifiable and often form the basis for complex emotions. Also, basic emotions are often automatic and do not require much cognitive processing/thinking while complex emotions are self-conscious and often a result of self-evaluation of self-reflection.

Jealousy is a complex emotion and can include one or two emotions such as fear, anger, sadness, helplessness, the feeling of inadequacy, etc. this feeling is often portrayed in romantic relationships when a person might be jealous of their partner talking to someone who they consider to be a threat to their relationship, such as they might try to take their partner ‘away from them.’ but jealousy is an emotion that can play out in any sort of situation, maybe you are jealous of your colleague being in a better job position than you or you’re jealous of your friend who always gets what she wants. Jealousy and envy are quite different too, jealousy, in general, requires a third person or party with whom one feels they have to compete while envy is simply wanting what the other person already has. People deal with jealousy in different ways, it can frequently manifest as having obsessive thoughts, behaviour that may appear to be obsessive or repulsive may even lead to the jealous person being passive-aggressive or they may simply suppress or try to hide it which will eventually make them resentful. Jealousy, however, can also be used as a strong motivator and a sort of ‘drive’ to achieve good things but it largely depends on how far and what you will do to get those things. Overall, jealousy, if held on to for long, can create resentment in a person and make them behave a certain way that further complicates a situation unless it’s expressed and heard to without any judgements.

Here comes the role of appreciation and gratitude! Gratitude has got multiple benefits, and appreciation is considered to be just one form of gratitude. What does gratitude mean? Gratitude is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. It can often be hard to be consistent with gratitude but once the habit is formed, it leads to fruitful results and helps a person be happy with all they have at present and be mindful. Some ways you can incorporate gratitude and appreciation are -

1. Keeping a gratitude journal. I know a lot of us may have issues with being consistent with keeping it but there are positive results researchers have found for the same. Some ways to be consistent can be, setting a daily reminder and just sitting for 5 minutes and writing what you’re grateful for, or you can also go digital and see if that would help. Do feel free to check out an old check-in by @WelcomeToChat (CLICK ME) in which Marcelo, gave the floor to a good discussion to share how our personal experience with gratitude journaling has been!

2. Meet people in real life and try to form meaningful connections so that you feel satisfied in your relationships. In today’s world, it’s very easy to feel dejected and lonely; the internet has done all of us a huge favour by connecting us with people all over the world. However, we need people who we can immediately see in our surrounding. To get a sense of belonging, while the internet has been useful, connections in real life are often something that gives a greater sense of belonging to people. And the more you hang out with them, the more things to be grateful for, the online ones are a bonus!

3. Help people, even the littlest of support counts and goes a long way. Being of service to others brings a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment like no other. Humans like feeling needed and as if what they have to offer is valued. Generally, all humans can provide a little bit of support to those who may need it, this could include listening to your friend when they are feeling low, volunteer in your locality working for a good cause and anything else that may benefit the people around you. A lot of times, this may lead to immediate reward i.e. making the other person happy or feel better and sometimes, it’s just something you have to do for a bit to see a plausible change. In any case, it definitely feels so good to be of service to others!

4. Be grateful even when the thing you are grateful for seems to be small. Have a good weather today? That’s a good thing to be grateful for! Your family member made tea for you, your friend helped you out in picking out a dress, your coworker wished you good morning, and anything that made you smile or you considered to be nice! For gratitude, nothing is too small, and all things that you are grateful for, have equal frequency! So go ahead and be grateful for anything and everything, it all matters the same.

5. Smile more often. I know this sounds so simple and you may have heard this already but the sheer act of smiling can affect your mood so much and make it better! Neurologists say that smiling spurs a chemical reaction in your brain and releases hormones like dopamine and serotonin which increases our feelings of happiness and reduces stress. Smiling definitely seems to be good and you know what makes it even better? It’s contagious! So it not only elevates your mood when you smile, the person you smile at may end up feeling much better as well. “Growing evidence shows that an instinct for facial mimicry allows us to empathize with and even experience other people's feelings.” Read more HERE.

Question. How has jealousy played a role in your life, is it something that you have been trying to overcome? Do let us know by replying to this thread and share if you feel gratitude can be a good solution for it! Look forward to hearing from you all.

Sources: 1. Meaning of emotion https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/emotion 2. Psychology Today, jealousy article https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/jealousy 3. Places from where I looked for some ways to practice gratitude https://www.wellandgood.com/how-to-let-go-of-envy/ and https://coachcampus.com/coach-portfolios/power-tools/susie-parker-gratitude-vs-jealousy/

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