I don't know what to do.
My name is Charlie. I’m currently 16. I have a girlfriend. I’m a girl that’s somewhat masc. I’d say I act like a gay boy. My girlfriend is 17 and is just a full on tomboy. We’ll call her “AL” for here. She’s got short hair, always wears baggy clothes, and could probably out-wrestle most of the guys in our school. She’s fiercely protective, sometimes a little *too* protective. She doesn't like my bisexuality, constantly questioning who I talk to, checking my phone, and getting jealous even when I'm just talking to a guy friend about a video game. The constant nagging and suspicion are wearing me down. I love her, but I’m starting to feel suffocated. Last week, she saw me talking to Mark, a friend from my art class. Nothing happened; we just chatted about a painting project. But AL flipped. She grabbed my arm, hard enough to leave a bruise. She called me names, accused me of flirting, and then…things got physical. She pinned me against the lockers. She kept repeating that I was hers, that I couldn't look at another guy. That I couldn’t *be* bisexual. It was terrifying. I tried to explain, to tell her I didn’t do anything wrong. I know I NEED to tell my parents but they’ll be even more upset that I’m with a girl than anything. And I just feel so stuck.
@Charlietheshark
The situation does not sound good at all. the possessiveness and jealousy from AL shows she is totally insecure and not confident in herself and what she can bring to the relationship. She can not tell you that you cannot be BI etc. If you have any fear about what AL will do over a casual conversation with a classmate etc you should tell someone.
When did you think you would tell your parents or were you planning on never.
I cannot tell you what will happen as the reaction by parents is all over the map. I think some fear the worst in this situation. When my son came out to us i thought I was ready and accepting and his dad would not understand but spouse did better then I did.
Sometimes it is a big step but one that moves you to being able to deal with adult issues with parents.
@toughTiger6481 I know, I should tell my parent. But they have a strong dislike for people in the LGBTQ+ community, I was THIS CLOSE to telling them, but I just feel like it'd cause more trouble.
@Charlietheshark I am sorry this happened to you. it should not have. The fact you were only having a conversation and she reacted like this? you answered it yourself. It was terrifying you said. you should not be terrified in the relationship. you need to tell someone. i know telling your parents big things like this can seem scary and i can't judge how they will react as it can be different anywhere. But they may surprise you and i am sure they mainly want you to be happy and safe. Even if you atleast told a teacher first. Your safety and health is most important. You cannot have her grab you and bruise you. Please please tell someone.
@Carloveremma911 I think I may tell a counselor, but I can't let AL know, she threatens me for the most trivial stuff. She has said multiple things about hurting me if I do something or threatening to Harass/Stalk me.
Sorry to hear this but as difficult it may seem remember they are your parents and they will understand… not hovering any unsolicited advise but some food for thought … I am sure you will find a way out
is it possible to see the school counselor about it? that seems like something they can handle. your not alone and are being heard.
What is your guy saying? If you are not in a relationship where it is explicitly stated that both of you can be physical with each other due to jealousy, this behaviour is likely to be unhealthy. The best possible way is to discuss this with a third party who likely has more experience in life than you, but remember, your life can be controlled only by a person you give the right to. After writing this text, perhaps it's clear to you what does this behaviour mean from your lover. At last, I'm sorry that you had such an experience. Communication is key, and don't be afraid to seek help from people that care about you, even if they are not your parents. If you are not comfortable, you don't have to talk to your parents.
@Charlietheshark You are correct. You didn't do anything wrong. AL is not a safe person for you. Tell your parents, they love you no matter what! Stay safe!
Your safety is the most important thing. You know this is scary and wrong, and it's not easy to break up with someone you see every day.
The staff at school is responsible for your safety, too. If you can, please talk to anyone you trust at school. It might be a counselor, a teacher or an administrator. If you take this path, tell them you've been in a consensual relationship that is starting to scare you and there has been physical violence at school.
Ultimately, even if you tell your parents, the school is going to have to get involved. And vice versa.
I would also recommend calling 800-799-7233 for the domestic violence hotline.