Cutting out toxic family is extremely painful

@framkallagreida I'm so sorry that you had to make such tough decision<3 I'm sure your heart felt the weight of it.

I hope someday you be able let go of the guilt you feel. So many things and people are involved in the story of a person and the way they are shaped, I hope you don't take all the blame<3

I ll let you know .You are already great mother if you can text stuff like this

🙂

Tell me more about this !

I'm apologise If I'm uncorrect but I feel like you did a lot and you did you best as a mother just wonder how this could happen .

I’m so sorry that you are feeling heartbroken. :( I know a lot of the notions of our world are shaped around the importance of family, but how people turn out are not always at the hands of their parents. There are so many other factors. I hope that soon you can forgive yourself and let go of that guilt.

@framkallagreida That is very painful and more complicated than cutting parents. If you are wondering what you did wrong, it ie a good sign. Messages are open. Here to listen.

I'm in the process of trying to this...both cutting ties and wondering how/when did I go wrong. It's extremely painful when grandkids are involved and breaking ties with your child also means you're probably going to lose your grandkids too. This is my biggest fear and my child knows this...feels like I'm being held hostage at times.

Not trying to make this post about myself but just wanted to let you know that I do know EXACTLY how you're feeling.

Keep your head up and remember that things sometimes get worse before they get better.

I believe that our life experiences aren't always meant for us...sometimes we must experience things in life to help others get through the same or similar tough times they experience. We cross paths for a reason. To teach AND to learn.

@framkallagreida

This pains me to read :( It's not in our hands how children turn out when they move into the real world and I hope you will be able to let go of the guilt someday :( Sending you a big hug.

I have 2 points of view for this situation.

When I was 11 one of my aunts decided to break contact with the rest of the family, bringing her family together...her kids, her kid's wives, her grandchildren, anyway...it was like I couldn't see half of my family. And with all that, she cut off my grandmother (her mother) - her issues weren't even with my grandmother.

My grandma suffered...for years and years and years. Her own daughter turned her back on her for nothing. I started to hold a grudge against my aunt and her family for doing that to my grandmother. Here I am now, 25 years old, turning 26 in 4 days, and about 2 years ago my aunt decided to get back together.

We all forgave them. And my aunt has proved many times that she has changed a bit. Not a whole new person haha but she's being kinder now, helping more, so we consider that a victory. We just want to see the family get back together and start to bond again! So what I'm trying to say is...sometimes people can turn back around. Even if takes years.

And sometimes...it doesn't get better. Her other daughter, my aunt that passed away last month, was always dealing with her toxic daughter and never had the courage to cut her off, specially because of her grandaughter. The reason my cousin was (and is) so toxic? Money.

My aunt was sick, trying to recover from a cancer treatment, and my cousin was constantly arguing with her about money. Sometimes we got to her place and my aunt was looking so sad, we would ask what's wrong and she would say "nothing...". My grandmother would then explain that my cousin argued with her because she was spending to much of their money with her and stopped talking to her, stopped visiting.

It was heartbreaking seeing my aunt like that, still with no hair, sad on the armchair that she was always sitting on. And it went on like that, until the day she passed away this year.

I wish she had had the courage to do what you did...