Why are my emotions unbalanced?
My grandfather died recently, and I still haven't cried. The same thing happened a few years ago when my godfather died. But this evening, I was showering during the time that my stepmother needed to be in the bathroom, because she had work. I forgot about this, and I heard her yelling/loudly talking to my dad about it. I feel so guilty that I've been crying for about half an hour, and I feel sick. This always happens when I do something to upset someone, and it's so frustrating because I can't stop crying and compose myself enough to apologise. Why do I react like this, and how can I learn to stop? I need to be able to apologise when I do things wrong, the people around me don't deserve to never get an apology just because I can't control my emotional responses.
@proactivePlum3533 It's like you're saying that in some situations you overreact and in some situations you underreact. You do have emotional responses, but they don't work the way you feel they should.
It's difficult to know what might be going on. There's no actual rule that says the deaths of people close you must be marked by tears. When you write, "still haven't cried" it makes it sound like there is crying that must be done and it will have to be done eventually, but I'm not sure that's really true.
And there's no actual rule that says when you inconvenience someone the apology must be immediate. I agree with you that people around you deserve an apology if you inconvenience them, but equally you deserve time to compose yourself and process your feelings of guilt.
The common factor seems, perhaps, to be wanting your emotions to be "correct" and immediate, when you could be kinder to yourself by accepting that your emotions are what they are, and sometimes you need time to process them. But I am certainly not an expert on these things.
Charlie
I agree totally with what first response said
do not gauge your responses to what you think is suppose to happen ........