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Scared

JamieGardevoir March 29th, 2020

Hey. I'm kinda in a rough situation right now.

I've had very strong empathy for as long as I can remember. And I met this friend in early 2019 that I talk to almost every day. And she has had the worst past. Almost every time we talked she would share a new sad story about her past, and she's far from done. Anyway, in the past few weeks I've been having a lot of trouble stomaching her new stories. Last night I cried for a long time, and I almost never cry. But tonight is when it started to get really bad. She told another story. And I started having trouble breathing and started shaking. And the pain... The emotional pain in my heart was unbearable. And it went on for a very long time. Much longer than I'm used to.

I asked my friends for advice and they said lie down and breathe slowly. I did. But then the scary thing happened. I twitched really badly and at the exact same time I felt pain. Nothing but emotional pain. Not just in my heart but everywhere in my body. It engulfed me. I've never experienced this before. And there was no stimuli. For the first time I felt the pain for no reason. I wasn't thinking of her stories, I wasn't thinking of anything. Just all of a sudden, bam. Pain.

I'm scared. Do any of you know what's wrong with me? And how to go about this? Any answers/advice would be greatly appreciated.

2
ThisTooShallPass2016 March 29th, 2020

Hi @JamieGardevoir

I'm sorry to hear about you situation. First allow me to state that I am a fellow 7 cupper and not a trained therapist. That said, yes, try to breathe through what you're going through. Second, it sounds like you're being triggered in some way by your the conversations with your friend and that you may be experiencing emotional exhaustion/stress. It also sounds like your friend may actually need to speak to a trained therapist. Have you recommended that. Perhaps you can share this forum with your friend.

Given the current climate with COVID-19, it's important for us all to understand that we may not have the same bandwidth to be all things to all people because our bodies and minds are processing everything that's going on (even if it feels like we're completely ok). That said we must balance helping others with taking care of ourselves. Are you practicing any stress management activities?

Personally, I would try distancing myself from the friend for a day or so to determine if the pain subsides and if it does you subsides. You'll confirm that your friend is definitely the root cause of your issue. However and most importantly if the pain continues, I would seek medical attention. In situations like these I try to remember the airplane anology, we must first put on our own oxygen mask before we can assist another with theirs, in other words, we must first protect ourselves so that we are alive/healthy to protect those we care about. I pray that things get better for you. Blessed wishes.

1 reply
JamieGardevoir OP March 29th, 2020

@ThisTooShallPass2016

Thank you for the advice and the best wishes. I'll keep trying to relax and follow your other advice too. I guess I'll see how this plays out.

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