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I need advice please
Ashley2508 October 2nd, 2023
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I don’t really know where this goes or where to put this thread under so I just chose this one. I apologize for how long this thread is in advance.

I have this one friend who struggles with their mental health. I’m someone who people tend to cling onto because I somehow look like I have my *** together when I really don’t. I’ve been known o be the “mom” friend or the “therapist” friend. So, this one person naturally clung onto me.

At first it wasn’t too bad. I was in a fine mental head space and I could deal with someone else’s problems. I was healthy enough to take care of them and give them all the attention they wanted. Now however, my mental health is ***. I still look out together but I’m really not.

Now, I can’t give them all that attention that I used to be able to. Being around them drains me completely. I have low energy constantly and every day I dread seeing them. My life is going *** at the moment and I have nothing to give anymore.

I feel horrible and like the worst person in the world. But I can’t keep up anymore. I want to be there for them and I want to help them but I can’t. They’ve clung onto me and I don’t know what to do. They think we’re best friends but I can’t even be myself around them. They think they know me but they are clinging onto the idea of me that they have in their brain, not actually me.

I want the best for them and I want them to find someone who’s stable enough to stay with them. But I’m not that person. I feel like ***. And I hate that I can’t do more for them. But I feel so fake when I’m around them and they don’t deserve that. I don’t know what to do. Does anyone have any advice?

4
Tinywhisper11 October 2nd, 2023
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@Ashley2508 awww your an amazing person, please know that ❤ you've done your very best, but your health got to come first. So don't feel guilty, you don't need this pressure right now. It's time to think about yourself I know it's hard, gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤

Bazzust0 October 2nd, 2023
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@Ashley2508

(coughs to clear throte) welcome sir come you can call this place the place of people who understand me or tpopwum for short. we're umm working on the name. wipe your feet and have a drink.

toughTiger6481 October 2nd, 2023
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@Ashley2508

You cannot save another if you are drowning yourself... i know how easy it is to be a friendly ear or shoulder but that should come with a time limit and a chance for it to be reciprocated.

Being honest with them that you are dealing with your own issues at the moment and need some support also... being honest although sometimes seems harsh can be the best thing in the long run.... perhaps they do not see how clingy they have become and explaining even you taht look like you have it together .... it can unravel for anyone.

themoooog October 2nd, 2023
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I’ve read a lot about boundaries lately (turns out I don’t have any at all) This sounds like a boundaries issue. Nothing wrong with establishing the boundaries you need for your own well being…even if that means not giving someone the support they are leaning on you for. 😁

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