I'm Seeing a New Therapist Today...

I've only gone to two counselors in the past when I was a little younger. I didn't care for/ get along with either of them. I didn't feel like I got any real help- they asked me questions and I answered, but I felt no better after the fact. I have severe anxiety and depression and the could see that, but I think it got disregarded because of how young I was. One of the two told me to fix my diet - and I was/ still am a naturally thin/ healthy/ small girl. The concept of 'diet' for me at that age was... not its literal deffinition. I took it as this man thought I needed to go on a diet - like a weight loss kind of diet- and that didn't bode well for me at the time.

It's been somewhere around four years since that last one, and I've finally reached out to my parents telling them how broken I feel. I woke up to being told that they got an appointment with a therapist for me today... and It's sinking in. I am grateful that they did that for me, but I haven't had a good experience yet, so I'm wary. Stating that I'm going to a therapist has only made me feel more helpless- I'm one of the most independant people you'd ever meet, so not being able to fix myself is terrifying for me.

Writting this all out helps me feel a little better... but more anxious at the same time by acknowledging it. But - we'll give it another shot.