I experience that feeling a lot and it's horrible to feel so I completely understand why this is upsetting you. I'm assuming that you're talking about derealization/depersonalization, which is when you feel like you're in a dream or like you're detached from your own body. It's usually caused by high anxiety levels or trauma, but it can also be caused from medications that you're taking. Sometimes depersonalization/derealization is long-lasting and can last for years or even life, but in your case it seems to be temporary because you've mentioned that it's started since you've been taking your medication.
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From psychcentral.com:
Episodes ofderealization are characterized by a feeling of unreality or detachment from, or unfamiliarity with, the world, be it individuals, inanimate objects, or all surroundings. The individual may feel as if he or she were in a fog, dream, or bubble, or as if there were a veil or a glass wall between the individual and world around. Surroundings may be experienced as artificial, colorless, or lifeless. Derealization is commonly accompanied by subjective visual distortions, such as blurriness, heightened acuity, widened or narrowed visual field, two-dimensionality or flatness, exaggerated three-dimensionality, or altered distance or size of objects, termedmacropsiaormicropsia. "
In the case ofdepersonalization, the individual may feel detached from his or her entire being (e.g., ?I am no one,? ?I have no self?). He or she may also feel subjectively detached from aspects of the self, including feelings (e.g., hypoemotionality: ?I know I have feelings but I don?t feel them?), thoughts (e.g., ?My thoughts don?t feel like my own,? ?head filled with cotton?), whole body or body parts, or sensations (e.g., touch, proprioception, hunger, thirst, libido). There may also be a diminished sense of agency (e.g., feeling robotic, like an automaton; lacking control of one?s speech or movements).
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Have you considered talking to your doctor about this and asking them to switch medications if this is causing you a lot of trouble? This may be a side effect of the medication that you're taking.
And yes, you are alive.
