Help

@RosyOctopus

i feel for you, I too am failing apart inside but because I hide it by working hard and avoiding people in my family/friends no one notices. I don't know what to do.

but I am glad I found this community, it's good that we are not alone. Sending you a hug

@Lola2008 thank you for the hug <3 I'm sending you one too

@RosyOctopus That does sound super invalidating and frustrating. Just because you know why your struggling with something doesn't mean that you know how to overcome it. Knowing why you are having a problem doesn't mean that you have knowledge, ability, or resources to solve it on your own. You might know why your car broke down, or the specific part that broke, but not how to repair it.

If somebody says something like this to you again, maybe try telling them you how invalidated it makes you feel. It might just be that they don't know that what they're saying is hurtful.

Especially try to communicate how you feel invalidated when your therapist says things like that and that you aren't getting the help you need to your them. If they think that you're doing great and making progress, but you feel that you're getting worse/not improving, there's probably some kind of miscommunication or disconnect. If they continue to make you feel invalidated or just brush you off, and don't seem to take your concerns seriously, it might be time to try a different therapist.

I hope this helps!

@CelestialStardust Thank you so much for replying, I'm so glad you understand. I think with my therapist at least, the reason she keeps telling me I'm doing well is because generally speaking, I have improved a lot since I first came to see her (which was a few years ago now, when I was a horribly depressed teenager with a pretty serious eating disorder and pretty deep in denial). I think maybe if I can communicate to her how I really feel it would help, but it's hard to know exactly how to do that...

@RosyOctopusb

Potential script: Hey (insert therapist's name here), I appreciate that you keep trying to give me perspective on how far I've come, and are encouraging me to be aware of the causes of my issues, but lately I feel like the focus of our sessions has been on that, rather than addressing the issues I'm facing right now, and it feels like I'm not making the progress that I want to be. When you say things like "You're doing so great," "It's amazing that you're so self aware!", it can feel like you're invalidating the problems I'm currently suffering with. Since we've identified the causes of some of my issues, could you provide me with some tools or coping methods to address them? Specifically (choose issue).

It can be hard to be totally honest with therapists, but it's necessary to get the most out of treatment. I hope this gives you at least a starting point for how you might want to bring it up. People tend to take criticism better if you acknowledge something that they're doing well first, and then bring up your problem, so you might want to keep that in mind!

Best of luck!

I am sorry that you are going through this.