Finding the therapist
Hi, I would like to ask for your experiences on finding the therapist. And I mean not just a therapist but the one. I guess I am being sceptical and even afraid of putting myself out there. I feel I am voulnerable to their influence and might lose my way in the process. Get labeled, judged, misunderstood......
What would you suggest as a strategy to effectively shop around and find the one? What things matter? Believes, training, personality? What things don't matter? Things to do? Things not to do? Things that are acceptable from them and what are not? Could someone with experience with dealing with therapists walk me through the process of finding the right one?
Sorry if I missed the place or thread for this question. Thank you for getting to the end of the post :P
Personally, I agree with you about being sceptical. I've heard some people do lose their way, or get labelled, judged or misunderstood. It's easy to find guides on the Internet that will tell you what to look out for, but I don't know whether the advice you can find out there is good or not.
My suggestion would be that you can't tell what matters until you meet your therapist and have your first real session. And by real session I don't mean filling in forms, I mean really talking about things. After the first real session ask yourself whether this therapist feels right, and don't hesitate to move on if the answer is no. Unfortunately my suggestion might make the process of finding the therapist long and expensive.
Another suggestion is that personal recommendations from people who know you can be a good way to find good therapists.
And a third suggestion is that if you're looking for a therapist for a serious mental illness, an actual medical condition that's been diagnosed by a psychiatrist, then you might want to consider avoiding beginners. (Even though there are probably some very talented beginners.)
Your feelings and fears about finding the therapist are things you can talk about to any listener here, although none of us can give you advice or make decisions for you. If you'd like to chat with me about these things, feel free to send me a message.
@lilmango
@RarelyCharlie thank you for a very supportive comment :)
As a therapist with 20 years experience I certainly endorse the previous comments.
Research overwhelming shows over and over that the key element in therapy is the relationship between you and the therapist. You can get a sense of this in the first session but it takes time to develop a good working relationship.
Far from losing yourself, good therapy will help you find yourself. That is not to say that your therapist will always say things you agree with or like , and you can always tell your therapist you disagree or don't like what they said. But therapy is about growth and the therapist will always kindly and respectfully help you grow in ways that you desire and discover.
I hope this helps.
@CalmingBreeze16 thank you for your experiences words. I may have come accross quite negative about this and I apologize for that. I guess what I struggle with us that it is hard to stick to your guts in front of a professional when your own expertise is far from what they do. I may too easily give up standing my ground and perhaps that is one of my problems.
