End the stigma. Start the conversation

Many of us have been physically injured before. And when asked, "Have you ever broken a bone?" or "Have you ever torn a lingament or pulled a muscle really badly?" we tend to be honest. At least I am. I broke my ankle in 7th grade. I'd torn my ACL as a freshman.

We all have been physically sick before. And when asked, "Did you catch the flu this season?" or "Have you ever had a stomach bug?" most of us answer truthfully. Yes, I caught the flu. Yes, I had really bad food poisoning a while ago.

But when asked, "Do you have anxiety/ depression/ PTSD/ OCD, etc.?" a lot of us hesitate before answering or just flat-out lie. I'm not an exception. When my health teacher asked if anybody in our class had a mental illness, I didn't raise my hand. The truth is, I've been diagnosed with anxiety, PTSD and OCD but I didn't raise my hand. I didn't do it because... well, the stigma around mental health. Somehow, many of us are looked down at or seen as weak when we admit to struggling with a mental illness. Which to me seems completely ridiculous, but it's a thing.

There are many factors that can cause a mental illness in someone, such as childhood trauma (domestic violence, neglect), history of abuse (both emotional and physical), head injuries (such as concussions), chemical imbalances, hereditary traits, and others. Our brain is an organ, just like a liver, a heart, or any other body part. It can get sick too. Those things are not within a person's control. I'm going to say it loud and clear.... A mental illness is not a person's fault!

But because of that stigma, many of us are afraid to admit we're struggling because we don't want to be judged. We don't want our mental illness to be used as a weapon against us by someone. We don't want to be seen as weak or crazy. So, we don't talk about it, which only adds on to the stigma, and the cycle continues.

I've struggled with mental illnesses all my life, but in high school espcially. Now, a few things about my high school experience: I have a great brother who's in college. I have a 3.9 GPA. I'm a three-time letterman in basketball. I was the captain of the varsity basketball team. I was socially accepted. I've dated a few people. I received many awards for community service, outstanding academic performance, and athletic excellence. From the outside, my life seemed perfect. What could I possibly be missing, right?

But what most people didn't know is I'd know I'm about to have a panic attack and run out of the classroom or the gym, saying I have a bathroom emergency. What most people don't know is that sometimes I'd lay awake for hours at night because anxiety got in the way of my sleep schedule. What most people don't know is sometimes I'd have a flashback and say I just had a bad dream or remembered the lyrics of a sad song. Sometimes I'd look in the mirror and hate my own reflection. Sometimes my hands would start to shake and I'd try so hard not to lose my cool. At times, I'd get so nervous before a game that I'd literally start to hyperventilate. Eventually it got to the point where I would pass out from exhaustion in class or even in the middle of the hallway. But 99% of people didn't know any of that. Because, man, I was a student athlete. I was the basketball captain. I was supposed to be perfect. No way someone like me could be struggling....right? Wrong. Totally wrong.

And then the whole thing with social media makes it worse. I have social media too. And when I look through my instagram feed, or snapchat stories, all I see is people living their best life. People smiling at the camera even when they're falling apart inside. People bragging about their accomplishments even when they're stressed about their grades, or money, or a job interview they feel totally unprepared for. We see what others want us to see. We only see the tip of the iceberg.

Moral of the story: Let's make a point of being kind to those around us. We don't see what we don't see, We don't know what we don't know. Someone can be smiling but falling apart inside. Someone can act confident, but be totally faking it and hate themselves on the inside. Everyone we meet is fighting a battle we know nothing about.

So let's end the stigma and start the conversation!

Lots of love,

Emirson