Does anyone else feel like nothing will ever help?
I have tried therapy a couple times the last year but it really doesn’t feel like I’m getting anywhere. To me it feels like talking about my problems doesn’t help them it just stresses me out more because now I’m thinking about them more especially when the person I talk to is asking more questions about it.
I keep reading other websites about mental health and they all give pretty much the same exact advice about loving yourself or start doing things you love but what if I know there’s something wrong with me and I don’t know what I love to do? And what’s worse is that I keep finding stories about people that tried therapy or some person just talked to them and they felt better. If it works for other people why doesn’t it work for me? Why should I keep trying? I don’t want my life to end or anything like that but if all of these things that should make me feel better don’t then I’m clearly the problem, right?
I can’t be the only one that feels this way. I usually hate hearing that “I’m not alone” because that doesn’t really help we’ll just both struggle, but for this instance I feel like I was genetically coded wrong and that there is no fixing me. Out of billions of people in the world and who knows how many on this site, surely I can’t be the only one feeling this way.
@Sadfrog45 sits beside you and wraps you in a warm blanket and hugs you tightly ❤ nope your definitely not the only one🙂 I have spoken to many people here who go through the exact same things as you ❤ you gotta remember that everyone's brain is different, noone ever knows exactly what goes through another person's mind. So the things you read about mental health are general help. But it doesn't help everyone, sometimes all you need is someone to just listen to what your really saying. Your not broken or coded wrong sweetie ❤ you know this is a safe place, you can speak freely here, just having someone to listen and understand can make the world of difference ❤
@Sadfrog45 I’m wondering how many times you tried? How many therapists? How often did you see the therapist? Was it face to face? What kind of therapists were they? Did you tell them that discussing your problems felt more stressful than useful?
Answer this question for yourself - what do you most want out of life? Is therapy one way to pursue your life’s goals or what else might help?
Hobbies or loving yourself are just things that MAY make life more enjoyable. They are not therapy (although they can be therapeutic).
@Sadfrog45
can relate
Hi! You're definitely not alone. I'm middle-aged and I still feel this way sometimes!
I can tell you my personal experience is that depression has been a chronic condition in my life that needs me to treat it just like that. Therapy has helped me sometimes but in the long run, daily life routines are what keep me stable. For me that includes
Getting plenty of sleep
Eating well
Movement/exercise
Putting my mental health first and letting go of things I can't control
Doing things that bring joy
It's ok not to know what you enjoy, especially if you're young. Try things you're curious about. When I was younger (in my 20s/30s) I tried indoor rock climbing, piano lessons, singing, container gardening, knitting, drawing, painting, going to movies alone, different restaurants and coffee shops alone, improv, yoga, reading, being a fitness instructor, learning new languages... Actually way more but you get the idea. Some things stayed, and others I didn't enjoy as much.
Now I have an after-work routine that includes daily knitting and reading, gentle yoga.. And on weekends I'll go to the movies or a coffee shop.
It's nice to take yourself on dates and get to know yourself better. Feel free to message me if you want to talk more about ideas!
@Sadfrog45
Can relate. I’ve also tried therapy, but it wasn’t effective. And I get a bit annoyed when everyone keeps telling me that I should keep trying until I find the right therapist or the right type of therapy. I don’t know why, but this method doesn't really convince me at this point. I think (and I've been told as well) that I already have enough awareness of my problems. Maybe constantly talking about them causes more harm than good.
Secondly, I don’t like hearing the cliché “you’re not alone" either, because no matter what others say, I still feel alone. Everyone does what they can to help me, and I appreciate it, but at the end of the day I always end up alone, back to zero. Words don't really change this situation. I understand how you feel.