Being 'gaslighted' (just learned what this was)
My oldest sister has been gaslighting me since I was little here and there. I don't think it was always concious or even malicious. We're grown adults now so I'm more capable of dealing with it. Still, I feel resentful about this.
I had never known there was a specific name for what she was doing. Questioning another's sense of reality in attempt to undermine or controll them emotionally is called 'gaslighting'. Usually narcissistic and sociopathic people do this.
For years all these comments like "are you sure that's what happened", "well I don't remember that happening", "you're being oversensitive", etc, would make me angry beyond belief and make me start to question my own memory when I was around her.
As a follow up, here is an article explaining and elaborating on gaslighting and techniques to consider:
@Exist56 thank you for sharing this, it is really hitting home for me right now. i am freshly out of a relationship and just beginning to untangle all the nuances. i only recently admitted to myself that there was some form of abuse. it wasn't until now that i'm able to pinpoint it. it was subtle, and like the article said, i'm farmilliar with the whole "brain stutter/wait, what just happened"outcome of some serious mind games. it was also definitely a factor in the relationship i had prior, which was much more abusive. it is so important to be aware of this, i feel like i'll break the cycle of letting someone treat me this way.
Thank you for posting this. I wasn't familiar with the term, but after reading the article, it's pretty obvious that my mom has been doing this to me every since I was really little. This kind of explains why I'm scared of my mom for mostly no reason, so this was very helpful.
@lightTortoise1929 I'm so happy my post could help someone! Being able to search about gaslighting has helped me find ways to cope.
It's empowering to realize I'm not the crazy one! no matter how hard the toxic person tries to make you feel that way.
Feel free to reach out or elaborate more if you need to share, vent, or commisserate. :)
My mom has "gas lit" me for years. Funny enough, I've always trusted myself enough not to second-guess, but that doesn't necessarily make it any less frustrating. Now that I'm grown up and majoring in psychology, it's even more obvious when she attempts it. The most recent was a conversation about exercise. I broke my foot jogging (stress fracture) and have been out of commission because of it. I commented something along the lines of "I was doing so well with sticking to working out before I broke my foot." and in response, my mom laughed and said "Yeah, sure for like two days." When in reality it had been over a month. When I corrected her, she kept arguing with me about it. I know my mom and I know she's full of shit though.
