Where do I turn?
There are days things when things seem to be fine. Others I am just so scared to move. I haven't had a decent night sleep in years. I am lucky to get 3 hours of sleep a night if I even try. A few nights ago I fell asleep and I woke up clawing at my throat, because I thought 'he' was there again. Stupid nightmare made me flashback to a very bad moment.
Never mind that I have two guys that want me to date them. To be honest I am not comfortable dating anyone with the state my mind is in. Never mind that, I am just so afraid that all I am going to be is used. They are touchy feely guys and I don't mind it, but some of the touches flashes me back to that time. I just don't know how to control it. I tell them that I don't want todate anyone right now, because I am afraid of getting hurt or me hurting them.
It seems like every time I say 'no' everyone thinks I say 'yes' but when I say 'yes' I mean 'yes'. I don't know, maybe I should move to a different country, might make life easier. Start over, get away from the memories.....
So where do I turn from here? Cause at this point, I have no idea.
There are listeners who have experienceof this type of thing you do not have to go through this alone as difficult as it sounds.I know it seems really hard right now and I don't believe there is a quick fix solution but it will get easier.
There are listeners who have experienceof this type of thing you do not have to go through this alone as difficult as it sounds.I know it seems really hard right now and I don't believe there is a quick fix solution but it will get easier.
