Temporary
Really, I've just been going through the motions for years. Everything I do, every decision I make has the air of temporality. I'm just treading water. Even massive, life changing decisions or events don't feel real or permanent. Sure I'll get married, why not? Sure I'll move across the world, why not?
Where is all this leading? Will I become even more of a depressing pariah on those around me? Will I one day disappear into the wilderness and forever shatter my family? Will I ever shape up and become a responsible adult?
I desperately want things to come to a head somehow, but I do nothing. I just continue to while away the hours.
@JohnLost
It's not about asking yourself a bunch of questions, John, it's about asking yourself the right ones.
@JohnLost I've honestly been going through a blur too, I hope you'll be able to find clarity but I hope that sharing my experiences with you will help you in knowing that you aren't alone. Everything in life seems temporary for me, especially the relationships that I have with others. I don't believe that anything lasts and anything that does is bound to end. Life for me is just a complicated thing that I just walk through in a haze, trapped in between happiness and sadness to the point where I don't feel anything, just letting the waves of life carry me, but slowly but surely I think I'm finding things to live for and focus on in life and I hope that you'll be able to figure it out as well, I wish I could do more to help but just know that you aren't alone and that you have my support as well as the support of the 7 cups community to help you find your way.