New challenges, but stuck in a loop at the same time.

I don't even know where to start. For one thing, I'm just off today. I have been all week. I had an incredibly tough session with my psychiatrist, and expressed to her how much I thought I should have gotten over my anxiety from an accident I was in a couple years ago. It's kind of spiraled into social anxiety to the point where I struggle to make and keep friends and keep a job.

I feel like giving up, because it's exhausting.
I have a job interview today, but I'm nervous about that, too.

I feel like my life is in a loop. I was looking for a job this time last year, too, and I didn't stay in my previous job for even an entire year. I don't want to be that person, but I don't know what else to do.

I feel really lonely, and I want someone to be there for me, but I feel like I'm the one holding everyone else up. One friend broke up with her boyfriend, and so I held her and made her cupcakes and talked to her.
I'm not holding it against people for going through a hard time. It's not their fault. I just wish someone was there for me. And not someone who's long distance, I want someone nearby. I just don't have that right now.

I'm kind of sick right now so I don't have much energy, but I can feel the anxiety wriggling around trying to break loose, and I'm almost done fighting the urge to give up. It's some really powerful stuff.

I am going to go read my Bible and pray right now, because I know that God is holding me and loves me no matter what, and I should talk to Him. I'd also like some human contact too, you know?

Love you all.

River