Need help refraining a thought…
So, my problem may not be seriously painful or anywhere close to being an emergency, but it is something that bothers me and I feel like I need help.
here's my situation: for a very long time, I have wanted to wear skirts, dresses, and something nice and pretty, like a normal woman would. So I bought some skirts and dresses to wear, but I never can get myself to wear them. I feel like I'm afraid of looking too nice or out of place, or that I'd be showing too much skin, as if I may be trying too hard when I just want to look nice and I like the clothes I bought. It's not like I buy really extravagant or expensive pieces that can only be worn for special occasions, yet these dressy nice casual clothes just end up not worn ever, hanging in my closet or folded up nicely in my drawers. What's the matter with me?
Im a man with 0 experience with women so take my advice with a grain a salt. But I would suggest getting your girlfriends together and going out on a weekend night for fun/guy hunting. It will force your girlfriends to dress nice so you can wear your nice clothes and it will be just be part of the experience. I doubt this helped but hey I tried.
@MilkMan
lol, thanks for trying, at least your idea made me laugh :) it could work though if I had a bunch of girlfriends and if they were single with free time...
i thought some more about my problem and it has to do with my depressed teen years when looking nice didn't matter paired with my strict upbringing, which has made me unable to put together an outfit today without the typical thought of "what to wear?"
So, part of me thinks that if I wear a dress or skirt, even if it's a casual one, it means I'm trying to be attractive for a date or going somewhere like a business meeting. Of course, that isn't entirely true because people could generally wear whatever whenever they want. I mean at the library the other day, there was a woman wearing a long casual dress with a cardigan & sandals and another had a long flowy maxi skirt in a casual orangeish color, and they didn't stand out but looked decent and comfortable.
and then, also for wearing dresses and skirts, obviously more skin will show then not, which means no hair on legs and in armpits because it's a faux pas. But to me, that's too much effort to just wearing a skirt or dress. I don't know how women deal with it all the time without splurging on hair removal devices or getting a wax with whatever chemicals.
Of course I could just wear a cardigan and tights, but I'd rather not for everyday wear in warmer weather. Yet in the colder seasons, I still can't get myself to wear a dress or skirt casually.
It really upsets me that I spend on dresses and skirts and not wear them because of my mentioned reasons. I like them and they do look right on me when I tried them, but I don't wear them out.
No offense, but you guys have it more easy when it comes to appearance.
@PandaK
THis is a weird question but is your leg hair really dark? Mine is relatively light so even though I typically wear jeans every day except Sunday basically I only have to shave once a week and when I do wear skirts during the week it's totally fine. It takes about 5 seconds to shave your pits too if you just do it in the shower every other day. I always shave with just water because the only time I ever cut myself shaving was when I tried using something else. Using water saves time, money, and blood for me haha.
@intelligentString
I've got dark hair. And I hate shaving. I pretty much only shave in the summer time when I'll be wearing a swimsuit. Plus, I'm blind without my glasses on, which I don't wear while in the shower. And my showers take a good amount of time cause it's refreshing and relaxing. I just will have to shop around for other options, even it'll be a bit pricey. If it'll make me less self-conscious, it'll be worth the investment, which I need to get a hang of as well.
thank you for asking and sharing with me your advice :)
@PandaK
No problem! I wish you the best of luck! Just do whatever makes you comfortable and happy. :)
@PandaK I have dark hair too but am coming up on my one year anniversary (in Nov) of not shaving. I just got tired of it and tired of irritated skin with red bumps! At work I wear long pants. If I want to look prettier, I wear ankle length skirts with knee high nylons. I stopped wearing sleeveless tops, but I have some with really short sleeves and if a tuft kind of sticks out if I raise my arms, well too bad for everybody else! I don't think anybody has noticed really. Away from work, like the grocery store or gym, I wear shorts. I do feel self-conscious, and haven't worked up the courage to wear sleeveless tops, but I want my body the way I want it. Maybe a long skirt would work for you?
@SadMe70
Thanks for sharing with me your experience!
Yes, long skirts I'd like, plus I don't want my bum to show. As a matter of fact, about a week or two ago, I got myself to wear this ling dark navy skirt with small white polka dots that I've had for a while with tags still on it. It was nice outside and it looked nice on me, so I felt great :)
its amazing that you found a way to wear skirts and still have your body the way you want it. I like sleeveless tops cuz long sleeves under a sweater or cardi can be too restricting and stuffy. I am still not comfortable wearing sleeveless alone, esp. without shaving my armpits, which I really don't enjoy doing. Shaving my legs isn't a problem, but I've got this idea in my head that if I shave too much, the hair will get darker and corser. Don't know if that's true, but it's also too much of an effort. I actually have gotten away the wearing shorts and not shaving since it's not that dark.
Still, I'd like to explore other options other than shaving. Won't know if I don't look.
@PandaK That's awesome that you wore your navy skirt!
@SadMe70 thanks, now I just have to get myself to wear short skirts, esp. now that it's becoming tights season.
@MilkMan just wanted to let you know that you provided a solid response :) in addition, it's so refreshing to hear a guys perspective! As a woman, I tend to forget body image issues don't occur only with females.