Need help refraining a thought…

@PandaK there is absolutely nothing wrong with you!! While no one can truly understand how you feel - I can relate. I use to be insecure in myself (not saying you are) always concerned with looking out of place or uncomfortable showing skin.... Then one day, I put on a sleeveless summer dress and wore it all day. It took me awhile to gain confidence in my appearance. I just had to wear what I wanted and that was that. No one said anything or glared at me... I even received compliments. So, you can definitely overcome this. If I could then anyone can! ❤️

@Coastal3Rivers

thank you for your response and sharing with me your experience.

i think you're right about me being insecure. I am afraid of being something else that I'm usually not and that is/was expected of me. I know I shouldn't care about what others think, but I guess I'm afraid of trying something different for myself only to find that doesn't work out for whatever reason.

I have been able to get myself to wear sleeveless tops, shorts, and even skirts in LA, CA this summer since it was very hot and I wasn't afraid since others were wearing skirts too. But anywhere else, I can't. Plus I'm concern about body hair -- maybe I should look into investing in that so I could stop being so self-conscious.

thanks again for reaching out to me - I appreciate it!

Im a man with 0 experience with women so take my advice with a grain a salt. But I would suggest getting your girlfriends together and going out on a weekend night for fun/guy hunting. It will force your girlfriends to dress nice so you can wear your nice clothes and it will be just be part of the experience. I doubt this helped but hey I tried.

@MilkMan

lol, thanks for trying, at least your idea made me laugh :) it could work though if I had a bunch of girlfriends and if they were single with free time...

i thought some more about my problem and it has to do with my depressed teen years when looking nice didn't matter paired with my strict upbringing, which has made me unable to put together an outfit today without the typical thought of "what to wear?"

So, part of me thinks that if I wear a dress or skirt, even if it's a casual one, it means I'm trying to be attractive for a date or going somewhere like a business meeting. Of course, that isn't entirely true because people could generally wear whatever whenever they want. I mean at the library the other day, there was a woman wearing a long casual dress with a cardigan & sandals and another had a long flowy maxi skirt in a casual orangeish color, and they didn't stand out but looked decent and comfortable.

and then, also for wearing dresses and skirts, obviously more skin will show then not, which means no hair on legs and in armpits because it's a faux pas. But to me, that's too much effort to just wearing a skirt or dress. I don't know how women deal with it all the time without splurging on hair removal devices or getting a wax with whatever chemicals.

Of course I could just wear a cardigan and tights, but I'd rather not for everyday wear in warmer weather. Yet in the colder seasons, I still can't get myself to wear a dress or skirt casually.

It really upsets me that I spend on dresses and skirts and not wear them because of my mentioned reasons. I like them and they do look right on me when I tried them, but I don't wear them out.

No offense, but you guys have it more easy when it comes to appearance.

@PandaK

THis is a weird question but is your leg hair really dark? Mine is relatively light so even though I typically wear jeans every day except Sunday basically I only have to shave once a week and when I do wear skirts during the week it's totally fine. It takes about 5 seconds to shave your pits too if you just do it in the shower every other day. I always shave with just water because the only time I ever cut myself shaving was when I tried using something else. Using water saves time, money, and blood for me haha.

@intelligentString

I've got dark hair. And I hate shaving. I pretty much only shave in the summer time when I'll be wearing a swimsuit. Plus, I'm blind without my glasses on, which I don't wear while in the shower. And my showers take a good amount of time cause it's refreshing and relaxing. I just will have to shop around for other options, even it'll be a bit pricey. If it'll make me less self-conscious, it'll be worth the investment, which I need to get a hang of as well.

thank you for asking and sharing with me your advice :)

@PandaK

No problem! I wish you the best of luck! Just do whatever makes you comfortable and happy. :)

@PandaK I have dark hair too but am coming up on my one year anniversary (in Nov) of not shaving. I just got tired of it and tired of irritated skin with red bumps! At work I wear long pants. If I want to look prettier, I wear ankle length skirts with knee high nylons. I stopped wearing sleeveless tops, but I have some with really short sleeves and if a tuft kind of sticks out if I raise my arms, well too bad for everybody else! I don't think anybody has noticed really. Away from work, like the grocery store or gym, I wear shorts. I do feel self-conscious, and haven't worked up the courage to wear sleeveless tops, but I want my body the way I want it. Maybe a long skirt would work for you?

@SadMe70

Thanks for sharing with me your experience!

Yes, long skirts I'd like, plus I don't want my bum to show. As a matter of fact, about a week or two ago, I got myself to wear this ling dark navy skirt with small white polka dots that I've had for a while with tags still on it. It was nice outside and it looked nice on me, so I felt great :)

its amazing that you found a way to wear skirts and still have your body the way you want it. I like sleeveless tops cuz long sleeves under a sweater or cardi can be too restricting and stuffy. I am still not comfortable wearing sleeveless alone, esp. without shaving my armpits, which I really don't enjoy doing. Shaving my legs isn't a problem, but I've got this idea in my head that if I shave too much, the hair will get darker and corser. Don't know if that's true, but it's also too much of an effort. I actually have gotten away the wearing shorts and not shaving since it's not that dark.

Still, I'd like to explore other options other than shaving. Won't know if I don't look.

@PandaK That's awesome that you wore your navy skirt!

@SadMe70 thanks, now I just have to get myself to wear short skirts, esp. now that it's becoming tights season.

@PandaK Go for it! You won't even have to shave your legs if you wear tights! Think how great you looked in that navy skirt and pick out a shorter one that you haven't worn yet. You can do it!!

@SadMe70 Yes! Ill make that as one of my fashion goals this season :D

@MilkMan just wanted to let you know that you provided a solid response :) in addition, it's so refreshing to hear a guys perspective! As a woman, I tend to forget body image issues don't occur only with females.