Life as a sensitive person

I hate myself honestly. I’m sensitive but because of it almost everyone tries to make me strong by literally being rude to me. Even if they were nice people that actually care about me. Not just my parents. Even strangers do it where they treat me either really nice or just try to be rude or just dry to make me feel uncomfortable. My parents are overly supportive about my skills but they very are strict about certain things but I hate it I’m not a baby. I’m smart and strong I don’t need this. I don’t know why people treat me like this. There’s people I love and I want to talk to but it feels awkward because it’s like this topic gets in the way. I hate myself I wish I was different so I have a normal life. Even if I explain to my friends how I hate that my parents do this they say they are just protective

.But I’m not ok and I’m my own person but I can never live by this. I see everyone having fun but I’m just jealous. Now I almost talk to no one

Even tho they’re people that want me and miss me and I know that but they know that if I talk to them they will want to make feel like I should stay away. Because apparently I have to stay like this to them.What’s happening. Why is this necessary. How can I stil like myself.I used to be strong and had my life together. Ever since I was a kid. Now it’s like it’s my first in day in life and I don’t know how it works. How can I build myself how do I grow when being ask to stay in the corner everytime I try to move forward. How do I accept that life wants me when I’m this much of an obstacle. Why is life hard for me. I’m just human I’m supposed to know how to do this. Living shouldn’t require this much. There’s people I want to talk to and they want me to talk too I see them hurt and miss me but it’s like they think I’m not ready or like there’s something I haven’t figured out or like they are afraid they something wrong. I really miss them okay? I’m a girl and I’m 21

My sensitivity was only bad over high school I couldn’t sleep because I think of the people suffering or just cry and want to help others on the internet or around me. I had panic attacks and felt bad for people who are ill and couldn’t understand how they live with their suffering. I’m not this sensitive anymore I kinda understand people have resilience. But I don’t why people treat me like I’m still in this phase. I actually want to get out of it but no one lets me.