I'm sick of being a spoiled brat. I'm sick of being useless.
Hi 7 cups of tea. Sailboat here. And yes, I'm sick of being a spoiled brat. My mom called me this just now when we were talking about going abroad for further studies. She also told me stories on how grandpa, my four aunts, and are basically all mollycoddled and cloistered overgrown children and are basically incapable of doing anything by themselves. She said I was like them too in a sense. She also told me I severely lack confidence and if I continue to be so, I will never amount to anything. I will never get anything done.
I don't blame her. After all, she is probably right. She just wants to help. If you get to know me even for a few days you'd probably reach the same conclusion as her too. I don't feel any emotion right now. I joined this site few weeks ago to help with my current bout of blues. I hated feeling so low down and useless, day after day, making it completely impossible to do simple things like filing up online forms and talking to people over the phone. Each day I feel more and more like a puppet, doing things only when instructed to do so while being completely wooden and emotionless. It's as if any passion left has burnt out or stamped out. Even Chemistry and Physics, my two most favourite subjects, just seem pointless. I mean, what's the point? Someone will be a better chemical engineer than I ever will be. I'm just a waste of space and am inhibiting them to be better.
I tried all sorts of things to keep my mood up. I tried going out for walks. I tried catching up with some friends. I read motivational books to try and find happiness in life. I searched online for help and that's how I ended here. Nothing feels like it's working. Every night I'd just stare blankly into the computer screen, then crawling into bed hoping to never wake up again. When I do I tell myself to keep looking for things to smile at, things to be positive about, and try to change my mindset on how things are going, but the whole day passes and I still feel empty.
I'm sick to tears at this point. I just want all this to end. I am tired of everything. I'm sorry for this ramble.
Hey there sailboat, gravity here. Anyways, everyone feels useless at some point, you know? Lots of people often feel like spoiled brats, especially when someone as close as a parent points it out to you. But dont take your mother's words to heart, because its possible that such an outburst was caused by her own stress (take it from my experience).
Also, there is always someone out there who's better than you, there's always someone who's the best, but why should that mean that you can't give it your all? You can do YOUR best, and sometimes that's satisfying all in it's own. Don't give up on your aspirations, because they're what makes you you.
And as for you feeling blue, lots of people also feel that. Now, i can't sugar coat it and tell you that everything will be alright, because i don't know the future. Just try to stop worrying about others and start worrying about yourself, worry about your mental health and your future and anything else, don't let words get to you.
Stay strong sailboat.
If you want to be happier you need to make some change. If you can't change your situation change your attitude about it.
Get back up, put on a smile and go out and let yourself live life. Indulge a little, sing at the top of your lungs, dance like no one is watching, play hard and work hard.
You're no longer useless, you're no longer worthless, you no longer will call yourself these horrible names and you won't let anyone else call you these things. Don't let anyone tell you that you're anything less than perfect. You are beautiful, allow yourself to feel that way.
Hey Sailboat,
Are you in chemical engineering? That
