Hi Blagfar,
I've struggled with that as well. I won't go into the details, but I hurt someone that I loved over and over. It was there that I found you hurt the ones you love the most. I beat myself up over and over, always asking why I could be such a horrible person.
I came to realize that I wasn't a horrible person, and I'm not a horrible person. I performed some horrible actions, but that did not make me a horrible person. On first glance this seems like a minor difference, but think of this: the choices you, and I, made were the best choices we made at that time, by the person we were at that time. That person was a deeply troubled individual, who was just dealing with the world as best he could. He could not allow the world to love him because he did not love himself. And that hurt self, who in reality no longer exists, deserves our compassion. He deserves our forgiveness. He deserves our love. Even after all the bad things he did, he still deserves our love and compassion.