I feel alone and unable to trust
I could get into it, but I'll just summarize.
My whole life kind of got flipped upside down about five months ago. Everything I've thought of being good and trustworthy has either flipped entirely or has been severely convoluted. Most of my relationships with friends and family have dissolved or fallen out very hard. I lost my girlfriend of three years around my birthday. I was jobless for almost 4 months, I tried applying to so many places and only just got a job started at Olive Garden.
I have nobody I can really talk to about my problems. I don't trust anybody enough anymore, because everyone has really shown their true colors to me or is 'too busy' whenever I start opening up. I also really despise myself and have very little respect for myself. I only barely take care of myself. I have a lot of stomach problems, and I've lost a lot of weight. And getting a good counselor seems to be very difficult. I can't rely on family because they're all too dysfunctional in one way or another.
I’m really sorry you’re going through a rough time in your life, but time heals and I promise it’ll get better. Many people are there for you and love you. If u need to talk though I’m here :)
@EmberShard
You have mentioned everything I am going through.
I don't know if there's a way out, sometimes I get too hungry to talk to people. One way for me to connect to people is reading experiences in reddit and here, another is to watch youtube videos. I also post in daily gratitude community, and have plants, art journal and other hobbies. Meditation, yoga, being in nature, dancing, listening to music, books, choose whatever works for you.
I didn't like art journal before, but a person online gave me this link and I've been crazy about it afterwards:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKWplumZk7s
I use junk paper only, and watercolors to draw shapes, also color pencils. They feel so satisfying.
@EmberShard
i have had more insight and help reading posts and sharing posts here out of 3 listeners i used only one seems up to the task.....
it sounds your friends / family let you down and you can no longer trust that is hard to get over as it had happened to me before also.......
some people were bullied into twisting words i said to them .......They had their job held hostage if they did not go along ...... (i see it now but would never trust those again) .....
it did not work for the manager who did this by the way........ but it has perhaps permanently eroded any trust after having people try to make something out of nothing about me. i am glad you have started a new job hope it work well for you .... i agree that counselors and therapists seem like too hard to spill everything and find they are not a good fit and start over that is why i do things here
Seems to be true, that "when it rains it pours" or as SmashMouth once said, "the hits start comin and they don't stop comin"
But really @EmberShard, I hope this job at Olive Garden connects you with better people and gives you the means to find a great counselor. And a good doctor to help you manage your stomach! It is so, so stressful to drop so much weight suddenly - I have problems with that too, and I've found that (being that humans are systems) that physical stress translates to mental stress.
I think once you get your stomach right, the mind will be helped as well.
All the best to you
@EmberShard It can be so hard to trust people, but it is amazing you have shared how you are feeling.