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I am happy. Are you?

User Profile: damselinthisdress
damselinthisdress May 27th, 2017

Guys, today is my second anniversary. My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for over a year now and I cannot even begin to explain how this journey has been for us. We have been through so many ups and downs...we've gone from spending every minute together to spending months apart...and it has not been easy. We've had our share of anxiety and uncertainty and there have been times when both of us have considered to end the relationship. But, even with all that, we've held on to the love that we share. We've powered through in the hope of better times in the future and I'm so glad we didn't give up. Today, at this two year milestone, I look back at our journey and I think to myself "man it's been one hell of a ride and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us!" I am happy.

So what I want you guys to take away from this post is, there'll be times when you'll feel like you can't take it anymore, you'll feel like you need to give up; when you do feel like that, just pause for a second and think that whether the gain from giving up will be of more worth than staying and giving it another try. Think about what you'll lose and whether the reason over which you're losing is worthy enough. Life's too short to give up, right?

Thoughts?

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User Profile: SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES
SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES May 27th, 2017

@damselinthisdress

I am so happy that thus far for the most part your long distance relationship is panning out. I was in one for years and years, even moved there, leaving everything and everybody behind in America to move to England, everything was set, the marriage license was obtained the registry office booked, the house completely finished then the' outlaws ' could not stand the sight of me and when forced between me or his family, he went with them and I came back to NY ( 2008 ) a total and complete basket case.

8 replies
User Profile: damselinthisdress
damselinthisdress OP May 27th, 2017

@SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES
I'm very sorry to hear that. :(
I can't imagine what it must've been like -- the relationship not working out after so much planning and preparation. You must've been heartbroken!

7 replies
User Profile: SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES
SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES May 27th, 2017

@damselinthisdress

I must be the slowest healer on the planet because 9 years after I still found myself occasionally crying over it. It was such a total loss, a loss of everything I wanted, needed and loved in one sentence. May it NEVER EVER EVER happen to you. Sending out love and good vibes. heartheart

6 replies
User Profile: damselinthisdress
damselinthisdress OP May 28th, 2017

@SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES
My heart goes out to you. It wounded you greatly, I can tell. Nobody deserves this. :(

5 replies
User Profile: SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES
SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES May 28th, 2017

@damselinthisdress

Thank you sweetie, it is true, and now at 56, for all the gold on earth, I would never start again. I started too early as it was, having sex at the early age of 15 ( in 1976 ), and as far as I am concerned I am done, I've reclaimed my body and my heart and will never again allow anyone to tramble on it again. I have BPD and am a highly sensitive soul and as there are no guarantees in life, it could happen again, and at my current age and at this stage of the game - he was the last, and I get to be the old spinster. Joy. crying

4 replies
User Profile: damselinthisdress
damselinthisdress OP May 28th, 2017

@SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES
I think I can understand what could have made you take that decision. You have my respect, ma'am. (I assumed you're a woman :) )

3 replies
User Profile: SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES
SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES May 28th, 2017

@damselinthisdress

Thanx so much and yes, last time I checked I was still a girl, maybe 56, but a girl nonetheless ! heartheart

2 replies
User Profile: damselinthisdress
damselinthisdress OP May 28th, 2017

@SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES
Haha. You've been through so much and you're still going strong. You remind me of my mother. She's a tough cookie as well.

1 reply
User Profile: SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES
SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES May 28th, 2017

heartheart@damselinthisdress

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May 27th, 2017

As sheaintgotnoshoes pointed out, not every relationship will have a happy ending. That's why it's important to first and foremost, to focus on personal happiness and setting personal boundaries with others. I'm sure I'm not the only one out there that needed to be told, that it's okay to end a relationship if it's not working out. I always thought that if I tried a little harder or if I waited just a little bit longer, things would get better. I ended up convincing myself of that for nearly five years in my ldr, before he suddenly left and ceased contact to date another in his country. I was tramatized and devastated, so I think it's important to know when to continue pushing on in a relationship or whether it's time to say goodbye.

Sometimes life is too short to continue to hold on.

I just wanted to share my thoughts from the other side of the coin. I wish you many happy years with your partner! @damselinthisdress heart

2 replies
User Profile: damselinthisdress
damselinthisdress OP May 27th, 2017

@TrueArrow
I'm very sorry to hear about your relationship. Yes, not every story has a happy ending and it's okay to let go sometimes. We should absolutely let go if we feel like it's time. All thoughts are welcome.
And thank you so much. :) ^_^

User Profile: SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES
SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES May 27th, 2017

heartheartheart@TrueArrow

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