the joy of helping out

I am happy this morning because I helped someone. I always feel bad when am asked the question have I helped someone; I feel this way because I think I haven't reached out to people, talk more of even helping them out. it so happened that a classmate of mine sent me a message, even though I don't have her contact and we don't relate much. she said thank you for what I did for her, how I saved her life. I was curious to know what I did, so she told me, that my letter of support to her back in highschool kept her going, and prevented her from committing suicide.(she has carried the letter with her since then 2021) I can remember back then I was down the ditch hole too, I knew she too was. and am happy I gave her little hope with my letter, even though I never got that help for myself then. I kept myself consoled by the letter and poems I wrote to myself back then. I am happy to have helped someone. sadly her little siblings tore the letter up and she wants me to write her another one. but I wonder how I will. I am still the worst of me with little courage left to live on. how can I write her a letter of support when the me now don't see meaning to keep going no matter the odds. the words don't seem to flow through me anymore, I lost that me who wrote letters to herself to keep moving on. everything have lost its meaning to me..., everything. so how do I write a letter of hope, when hope seems to have lost me and me lost hope.

PS: these are the words from the letter.

dear Sarah, keep going and don't look back. I know it's hard for you and you can't help looking back, but keep going. no matter the stress from home, school and everything, keep going with a smile and don't look back because I understand it's not easy to keep going without looking back.