help with a past issue.
hello I'm not great at this but I figured I would try to open up to get some other viewpoints.
so to keep it pretty short I've been in a few relationships and all of them have ended horribly either they have cheated on me kept things from me or just didn't really seem like they loved me.
one in particular I was with for 5 years and they hid me from all their friends I only met their family one time and kind of put me on the back burner almost all the time. but I thought I loved them so much so I just put up with this because I figured no one else would even give me the time of day so I just stuck with it.
but because of all of this that they put me through now trying to do relationships even platonic ones like making new friends is really hard for me?
I'm currently in a relationship right now and we've been together for over a year and I still am unable to fully open up and feel like I can just be myself around them fully. they asked me all the time to open up to them tell them about my life and you know be vulnerable with them but it's so hard
because in the back of my mind I'm just scared. I'm scared to be treated like that again because I was so vulnerable with my ex and they took advantage of it all the time. they made me feel honestly worthless and I know my current partner is not them and is nothing like them but I still can't help but feel constant worry all the time.
it's suffocating honestly. and I've tried to talk to them about it and they're so understanding but I'm always just sitting here expecting the worst because this is feeling like it's too good to be true because I've always just been treated like crap by almost anyone else I've ever been with.
can I please have some tips on how to like get out of this mindset? i love this person so dearly and I don't want to ruin it because I'm constantly reliving the trauma that my ex put me through. because my current partner is not my ex they are a wonderful human being and I always feel so bad when like my mind wants to resort to the worst thing possibly happening when they have never given me a single reason of doubt that they don't love me.
it's just my ex made me literally feel like I was just garbage like no one could ever love me no one could ever want me... and now that someone does and this is a wonderful and healthy relationship my guard is always just up because I'm scared that this is just too good to be true..
@Vwhy
I think it is common for people to still feel the sting of someone else opinion even long after.........and how they were treated in past but honestly, you saw the warnings and ignored them.
If past partner did not let you meet their friends and family only once in 5 yrs....that shows clearly they did NOT value you. YOU have to believe that you are worth it... when we put ourselves down and think "well they are better then no one " .... WE open the door wide to being disrespected.
if you find yourself letting things go because you want to be there ........do you think these behaviors will change? ......................They wont because you let them take advantage of you....
yes it is hard to start again and trust but we should learn that new person is NOT the other and not hold them accountable for what happened before..... that does NOT mean if they do something you question that you ignore it and let it go like you did in the past..... it means you learned your own worth.
