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Nightcity
920 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts52 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2024 Member sinceSeptember 5, 2016
Recent forum posts
overwhelming emotions
General Support / by Nightcity
Last post
 March 20th
...See more I am moving in almost exactly a month across country. I am so overwhelmingly overwhelmed. currently I am stuck living with family because where I was living previously it didn't work out the roommates were kind of hard to live with and my grandfather was nice enough to let me live in his house that he currently doesn't live in. I've been here for almost 3 years and I know he's wanted me to like move out get my own place but my current state is so expensive that I can't do it on my own and my anxiety does not allow me to live with people I don't know, and all my friends in this state already have their own living situation or they're not looking for roommates kind of thing. well 3 years ago I met my now fiance and he lives across country from where I am right now and we just found an apartment to live together and he's going to be coming up here next month and we're getting a U-Haul and driving across country to our new place. I'm almost 29 and I feel like I don't have a lot to show for me like I don't have an amazing career I'm in college the only thing amazing I guess is I'm getting a masters in psychology so I don't have a whole lot of money to do a lot of things mostly all my money goes right back into schooling so I feel like I haven't accomplished as much as like my two younger brothers or my cousins. but like my family we don't really talk a lot so I don't even feel like I have a support system aside from my fiance. and I guess I just get overwhelmed because I'm basically just tossing my whole life away to move to a different state but it's not like I have anything keeping me here. my dad passed away in 2014 and he was the only parent I had that like cared enough about me to ask how my day was doing. my mom never even checked up on me when I lived with my dad how I was even doing in school. anytime I ever had to ask my mom for anything it was like I was ripping her arm off even when I was like compensating her. for example asking if she could pick me up something from the store cuz I don't have a car but I could like *** her however much it was, she would throw a fit about it. so like I'm excited to get away from this state and kind of like my family for a little bit to see if they even care enough about me to see how I'm doing in my new place. but at the same time I know I'm setting myself up for failure thinking my family care enough to check up on me. I guess I just have like a lot of emotions that I don't even know how to like process knowing that I'm moving across country and just kind of like leaving almost everything I know. I know a lot of this is just blabble and might not make super sense or whatever but I was just trying to get like all my emotions just out real quick I still have a lot but I'll probably just try to find a listener to talk more about it in the moment?
looking for Long-term listener
General Support / by Nightcity
Last post
 March 12th
...See more hey I'm looking for a long-term listener someone that I can kind of check in with maybe a couple times a week nothing super crazy. I struggle heavily with anxiety and a lot of self-doubt and horrible self image. plus a couple other things. I'm currently in college I am working towards a masters and in a month moving across country so my brain has been all over the place and I haven't been able to properly just like talk about my emotions or worries. so yeah I'm looking for a long-term listener that's willing to kind of chat with me for a while so I can kind of just put all my issues just out with the same person rather than having to constantly I have to repeat it to a bunch of different listeners. I would honestly prefer someone who is either a part of or is very welcoming to lgbtq people as I am non-binary. I am completely fine if replies take like a day or two or if we are on completely different time zones just being able to like vent to the same person would be really helpful for me right now.
Anxious feelings.
Anxiety Support / by Nightcity
Last post
 April 17th
...See more I realize that I've been getting random bursts of anxiety that are completely unprompted and do not have like an actual reason. like I could have the best day ever and then out of nowhere my anxiety will just hit me and I will think like everyone just hates me and I did something wrong when in reality I'm just like sitting on my couch watching YouTube on my phone not doing anything. I guess I wanted to ask if I could have some tips on managing random bursts of anxiety that are like completely unprompted. because I've kind of figured out how to relax myself when I become anxious and there's a reason because I just get to the bottom of the reason and try to rationalize it in my head but when it's completely unprompted and spontaneous I have no idea what to do with myself. I've tried the looking around the room what I can hear see feel that kind of stuff but that doesn't really seem to help me. when it's a more spontaneous random burst of anxiety I don't know why my mind seems to wander more because it's like I'm trying to figure out what has made me anxious and the fact that I cannot figure it out like stresses me out even harder any tips on what I could do maybe things that might have helped someone else that I could maybe try I would be so grateful. I don't usually reach out and do this kind of thing so I hope I made sense.
help with a past issue.
General Support / by Nightcity
Last post
 November 18th, 2023
...See more hello I'm not great at this but I figured I would try to open up to get some other viewpoints. so to keep it pretty short I've been in a few relationships and all of them have ended horribly either they have cheated on me kept things from me or just didn't really seem like they loved me. one in particular I was with for 5 years and they hid me from all their friends I only met their family one time and kind of put me on the back burner almost all the time. but I thought I loved them so much so I just put up with this because I figured no one else would even give me the time of day so I just stuck with it. but because of all of this that they put me through now trying to do relationships even platonic ones like making new friends is really hard for me? I'm currently in a relationship right now and we've been together for over a year and I still am unable to fully open up and feel like I can just be myself around them fully. they asked me all the time to open up to them tell them about my life and you know be vulnerable with them but it's so hard because in the back of my mind I'm just scared. I'm scared to be treated like that again because I was so vulnerable with my ex and they took advantage of it all the time. they made me feel honestly worthless and I know my current partner is not them and is nothing like them but I still can't help but feel constant worry all the time. it's suffocating honestly. and I've tried to talk to them about it and they're so understanding but I'm always just sitting here expecting the worst because this is feeling like it's too good to be true because I've always just been treated like crap by almost anyone else I've ever been with. can I please have some tips on how to like get out of this mindset? i love this person so dearly and I don't want to ruin it because I'm constantly reliving the trauma that my ex put me through. because my current partner is not my ex they are a wonderful human being and I always feel so bad when like my mind wants to resort to the worst thing possibly happening when they have never given me a single reason of doubt that they don't love me. it's just my ex made me literally feel like I was just garbage like no one could ever love me no one could ever want me... and now that someone does and this is a wonderful and healthy relationship my guard is always just up because I'm scared that this is just too good to be true..
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