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even if i don’t get it together

steph8402 March 2nd

i feel like life is so quiet. and idk what i’m doing when i’m so loud. my thoughts scream at me saying do this do that. and everyone looks at me crazy. i hate thinking i’m the only one who looks at the world so weird. it’s like sadness makes me happy because i can feel it a little. but i’m so *** tired. tired of the world being so *** silent. being so black and white. everyone says to look at color. and i can’t. everyone looks so colorless. i look colorless. i look like the life is sucked out of me. and i hate being known. it’s like there are eyes everywhere. when is she gonna mess up. when is she gonna stop smiling. when is she going to crack. and i don’t want to crack. not in front of anyone. because what’s the point. everyone leaves. everyone says something.

i can’t get my *** together. but even if i don’t get it together. everyone’s still living. while i’m dissolving.

1

@steph8402

I am sorry that you are dealing with a lot of depression recently and that you are worried that other people will make fun of you or call you crazy. Nobody should ever feel that way. When you have friends or family members that you talk to they should be trying to encourage you not make fun of you for the simplistic things that you done in your life and that you feel tired sometimes due to your depression. I don't know why your world is colorless and that you feel colorless. Maybe you are always sad and that you want to be in a dark world with a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel. I am here for you whenever you want someone to listen to you