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You are not Alone.

neverendingRainbow489 December 24th, 2022

I write poetry when I am inspired or when I just need to get emotions out of my system. This poem "Alone in the Night" was written about the cycle in and out of depression that I have experienced. Right now I am doing great! I thought it might resonate with some of you. I want you to know that you are not alone in your experience. Your feelings are valid. Thee is hope though. You can change your thoughts.

Alone

Not enough for anyone

Drifting in and out of belonging

Trying to get close

Desperately wanting to add value to people's lives


Swallowing my feelings

Trying to stay positive

Listening, supporting encouraging

Drained


Dismissed

Devalued

Worthless


Why am I alive?

What am I doing here on earth?

Would I actually be missed if I died?

My death would be tragic

But I give and I give and I give and I give

There’s nothing left


Am I making a difference?

Does it matter?

What does it matter that I try my best?

What does it matter that I have been patient and kind?

What does it matter that I am a supportive and encouraging and positive friend?

I don't actually make anyone feel any better.

I don’t make a difference.


But maybe one day I will

Crawl out of the depression whole

One step at a time


Shower

Comfortable clothes

Cry until theres nothing left

Sleep blessed sleep


Talk to my therapist and start medication

Make a plan

Unpack the trama of my past

Process the wounds so I can


Heal

Finding

Myself

Self Confidence

Self Love

Authority

Boundaries

Healing


Surrounding myself

With people who lift me up

Who care for me

Who will fall down into the whole with me

People who are empathetic

Healed in relationship


I value myself

I make my voice heard

I am worthy

That little girl was worthy

She deserved more


Once again I have gone through the cycle

Once again I have found myself transformed

Maybe this time the good feeling will last longer

Maybe this time it will be permanent

Maybe I will never feel so

Alone



9
innateJoy9602 December 25th, 2022

@neverendingRainbow489

This is definitely comforting. I think everyone has felt a bit alone at least once. So, It’s always comforting to hear that we are indeed not alone. I really like the transition in the middle from feeling a bit pessimistic to optimistic. Thanks for sharing!💜

1 reply
neverendingRainbow489 OP December 26th, 2022

Thank you! I am glad you liked it.

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orangeTree959 December 25th, 2022

@neverendingRainbow489

I like the way you described it as a cycle. I have chronic depression and have adapted to the churn by getting used to starting over from scratch. Jobs, finances, relationships, etc. In a way, it's become a virtue, and has helped me cultivate flexibility and what the Buddhists might call non-attachment.

I am relatively stable these days, too. Things I wrote when I was feeling wise are precious for me, because they give me perspective on how much I've improved my wellness, and are a testament to my persistence. Thank you for sharing yours.

2 replies
orangeTree959 December 25th, 2022

@orangeTree959

* Things I wrote when I was feeling worse

neverendingRainbow489 OP December 26th, 2022

I am glad you liked it.

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HeckerzzGirl December 26th, 2022

@neverendingRainbow489

Beautiful poem :) You could submit it to a competition

1 reply
neverendingRainbow489 OP December 26th, 2022

Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it. This one feels too personal for me to submit to a contest , maybe one day I will.

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shayy17 December 26th, 2022

that was beautiful sometimes i write songs it really helps ty for thst

1 reply
neverendingRainbow489 OP December 26th, 2022

I am glad you liked it. Writing is a really powerful tool.

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