Work issues, burnout, dead ends

They finally all left and it's quiet. I have so much to do and don't know where to start. I'm dizzy, nauseous, have a headache and my heart is racing. They know I have sensitivity to chemicals. I've asked, put up signs even. Please spray outside or open the outside door at least. Did that stop them from spraying indoors again? No. I had to go outside to fresh air before I passed out. I put a fan in the door to air out my office. There's no point in saying anything again. Just deal with it.

One person said hello back to me today. I didn't know what else to say so I said nothing.

So, looking back at yesterday. I'm not normally one to put up with much but I'm starting to realize how much I've been worn down by that place and the people there. That's not good. I need to get out.

Doing nothing changes nothing.

The people here are unbelievable.

Last week you ignored my request for the info I needed to order things we had to have for the job we started today. Then you tried to deny that and blame me. How'd that work out for you? Email read receipts are great things aren't they? Didn't like it much when I called you out on your BS and could prove it.

But once again, oh that's ok, it's not a big deal, we'll just blow this job off for a few days. When you let mediocre be your standard, don't get mad when those of us who strive for better go find better.

Unreal. Completely beyond my comprehension.

Not once in the three years that I've been here have any of you made the slightest effort to get to know me. Not once. I know nothing about you and you know nothing about me. We're not friends. We're not acquaintances. We're not even co-workers. Most days you don't even speak to me at all. We just get paid by the same company. I've tried being friendly. I've tried being polite. Fine. I gave up trying a long time ago. It's been crystal clear to me for at least the last two and a half years that you want nothing to do with me unless you need someone to bully, blame or take your personal crap out on.

So please tell me why in the world I'd want to go sit through another one of those birthday lunches again. Is it because you'd really like me to be there to help celebrate your birthday? Or is it so I can sit there and be ostracized some more? So I can know once again just how much fun you don't have because I'm there? Last time I had to go to one of those things I wouldn't have even gotten food if the server hadn't deliberately come back to me and asked if I wanted anything. I'm sure none of you felt bad that a total stranger apologized to me because even they could see how miserable of a time it was. Glad you all had a great time where ever it was you went for drinks afterward. Thank you for not inviting me. My day got a little lighter as soon as I got away from all of you.

Anyone wonder why I didn't go to the last little event? No one bothered to ask. Heard what a great time it was for everyone. I'm glad you had a good time. No, not doing this one either. No thank you. I've gotten quite sick of the pretense. Enjoy yourselves next week. I'll shut up and stay here in my hole. That's what I've been told to do so that's what I do. Don't worry, you'll still get your birthday cards. You'll still get your Christmas cards. Part of my job to do that isn't it? Or is it? I really don't know. Doesn't matter. Yes, I know I won't hear a thank you. That's OK. I don't do it for you.

@kaylting i hear you. Similar situation. Those above trying to score points by finding fault in others. So fearful of loosing my job that I feel my work performance is clouded. Trying very hard to put things in perspective. Difficult as all aspects of living are affected, sleep, eating habits, etc. Keep telling myself to be brave, gotta keep the roof over my head. Working long hours.... Hope things improve for you. Anxiety hits as I get closer to work Still so greatful to have a job as I know what it is not to. Believe me, much worse.

I do not want to have to go back there again today.

If being unemployed was an option I would take it immediately. But it isn't.

Already dreading going back in there and it's hours away yet. I should try to think positively about it but there's nothing positive left about that place I can think of to focus on.

Seems everyone else has the day off today. No one is here. No one has been here. Are we closed? I really don't know. Unreal. How do you run a business this way?

These people at my job are some of the stupidest bunch of head up their own behinds that I've ever seen in my life. Just unreal. I really do think they're so busy playing a round robin of who's nether region do I stuff it up now that they've lost it up someone's forever.

So yesterday's project didn't get started for no fathomable reason. I can only surmise it had to do with the latest round of head stuffing...

Didn't get started today either. Seems the sister/girlfriend wanted her car picked up... from where ever and why ever it was left some 3 weeks ago. So the whole company is shut down for half the day and people are sent home with no pay. All so the boss and the jerk can go fetch her car.

Can't she go fetch her own car? At the weekend or after working hours? Didn't everyone take the whole day off yesterday? Couldn't it have been done then?

I suppose not... falls right in line with when a project had to be delayed because she wanted her personal belongings out of the company premises. That's right, she didn't show up to work for six weeks and hadn't even thought of those things for two years but just had to have them right then.

And then I'm yelled at because things we have on order haven't come in yet. Well, if anyone here ever actually wants to go to work, maybe I'll get the things shipped.

Completely, totally asinine.