Why do people have to be mean when they debate?
Debate is supposed to be a team effort to figure out what's true. Instead, people act like you're attacking them personally. They get angry and rude, especially on the internet. I asked a couple of well-intentioned questions in a certain online forum about a controversial subject. I just wanted to see if people would come up with ideas I wouldn't have had, myself. People treated me like I was stupid or had ulterior motives.
I'm wondering what causes people to be like this. Unfortunately, I used to be like this. My theory is that it starts in the home. We didn't discuss feelings or debate different ideas in my family. My parents just taught me to think whatever they thought and see the other side as evil or misguided.
Or maybe it's a personal identity thing. At one point, I felt that I was my beliefs, so if I lost them, I didn't know who I'd become. Maybe people feel like if you question what they think, you're attempting to kill their soul. If that is what's happening, it's ridiculous, but maybe they're not aware of it?
@TheMisfit I’m not sure debate is to find the truth. I think it’s an exercise in who can make the most convincing argument. What do you seek in debate? Is it really truth? Community?
@FlatenedByLife
I thought the purpose of debate was to work together to figure out what's true. And I think that's how people should see it. But maybe you're right and it's just a competition, which I find sad. If the point of debate is to prove yourself right and the other person wrong, you have a reason to go into it with the mindset that you're not going to change your mind. That's terrible for a society in a number of ways. It can keep people from getting along, lead people to support the wrong causes and lead them to vote for bad representatives because they were too close-minded to listen to someone with opposing views.
I have two goals when I debate. I want to convince other people that I'm right, if in fact I am right, and I want to be proven wrong if I am wrong. I want to develop the best opinions I can so I can get as close to the truth as possible.
@FlatenedByLife
It seems I used the wrong word. According to this, a debate is a competition to prove the other person wrong, and a discussion involves being open to new ideas: https://www.uopeople.edu/blog/debate-and-discussion/
If that's the case, I don't like debates. Only discussions. And what I was trying to start in the forum was a discussion.
@TheMisfit Well I like that you prefer discussion. Truth isn’t absolute and sometimes you may have to settle for two opposing “truths”, but you’re right that people can get mean when expressing their truth. You might be interested in the book, “How Minds Change” .
@TheMisfit
People have become too interested on being right in their own mind....
They are not able to be accepting with added or new information when it challenges their beliefs. Why can't they admit they have been mistaken look around you at those who label groups of people because they do not share a particular vision. Everyone has made errors in judgement especially when new information comes to light or a view they never considered.
what will they lose the 👍 of people who believed like they did.? .. lose face on FB ?
they are not being graded or scored yet everyone seems to think there is some invisible scoreboard keeping track on if they are right or not.