Self-love
Hey loves! <3
Many of you who are on the teenie side may know me, but for those who don’t, my name is Mae! Today, I want to dive into a topic that holds a special place in my heart: self-love.
I’ve been on a journey of practicing self-love since October, and let me tell you, it can be incredibly challenging. There are days when it feels downright impossible. Yet, in those moments when I manage to squeeze out a little boost of self-confidence—perhaps because I treated myself to a fresh makeup look or indulged in a relaxing skincare routine—I realize how impactful these small acts can be.
Self-love doesn’t have to be grand or complicated. Sometimes, it means taking the time to groom ourselves—like shaving for the guys—or simply stepping outside for some fresh air and exercise. Even something as basic as staying hydrated by drinking water counts as an act of self-love. It’s all about finding those little moments that uplift us and remind us to appreciate ourselves.
I have a challange those of you who see this give me an example of self-love.
@Selfloveisimportant
I was thinking about having built myself a new computer, but then I thought within the context of this forum, it may be better to talk about setting appropriate boundaries. In my most recent case, it had to do with not engaging with someone who complains a lot, is manipulative, and wants to be heard, but isn't interested in being supportive.
@Spiritriver
Boundaries are VERY important. If we let some one belittle us it can affect our self esteem.
@Selfloveisimportant
really well said. That is something I am working on on too.
- I believe in you and your ability to get through this.
@Selfloveisimportant
I agree it's super important, and it's self-directed expression may have even greater impact on our well-being when it's consistently demonstrated through self-care, such as grooming, exercise, nutrition, etc. Our thoughts and subconscious interact constantly. In my opinion, if self-esteem/love is verbalized but self-care isn't practiced, there is cognitive dissonance and with it, a message is sent to the subconscious that self-love isn't present.
I also believe that self-love is prerequisite to effectively loving others. Self-love encompasses self-worth. That means when you give your time to others, you know you're giving something of value. That's quite different than trying to make others happy from a perspective of low self-esteem. It also means you realize the value of your gift, even if the other person doesn't appreciate it.
Then you can be okay with having given your gift, regardless of the outcome and your self-love/worth isn't affected.
@Spiritriver
Hey Lovely!! <3
I love your veiws, thanks for taking the time and reading my post<3
i do all this but i still hate myself and can’t change my life 🥲 how do i REALLY love myself?
@poliyrestimmy
Hey Love! <3
thanks for reading my post I can not answer this question but I really hope you figure out how to love yourself along the road <3
@poliyrestimmy
I can't answer that in the form of instructions, but there are some questions I've asked myself. For example:
What would I tell a person who shared such feelings with me?
Who would I be if I didn't believe this about myself?
Am I sure that what I believe about myself is true?
Who was I before I came to believe this about myself?
I was raised to believe that anything bad that happened to me, I deserved. That meant that whenever I was traumatized, I felt guilty about it. Lots of bad stuff happened to me, so I came to feel guilty, worthless and hopeless. After a number of years, I got around to questioning my self-assumptions. I wondered who I would've been if I'd been raised in a more nurturing environment.
I did an exercise where I went back in time and talked to the child I used to be. I told him that what he was conditioned to believe was - all the negative stuff about himself was absolutely not true. I gave him credit for surviving despite the adversity.
I figured out that negative self-talk and toxic guilt is disempowering, making positive change unlikely. I believe the subconscious is programmed to fulfill self-expectations, so it's like ordering your mind to create the conditions that provide "evidence" that there's no reason for hope.
I realized that if I try to shame myself into positive change, the shame, because it's so disempowering, is almost sure to undermine the effort.
So, those are some of the high points of my journey. I feel better about myself now. It doesn't mean I can't be triggered or my confidence shaken, but now I'm able to recover from such episodes.
Something else that I believe really, really helps, is having discovered that I can support others. I can share aspects of myself that have proven to be of value, hence it's easier for me to understand that I have value.
Hi Mae!
Thank you for your post, you have such a kind and warm way of expressing yourself 💕
I think that one way to self-love is to acknowledge a positive impact you've had on your surroundings - no matter how small. For example, I picked up some litter in the park that I like to walk in so now it's more clean and beautiful. And my plants look nice and happy because I'm good att taking care of them.
Somedays it can be really hard to think of something but even the smallest act counts!
