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My insecurities will eat me alive

seashell145 January 18th

I feel so bad. I feel like I can't express myself like other people can, and it makes me feel insecure. I know it'll take time to grow and learn but my insecurities don't leave my company. The obsessive thoughts are hurtful.

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Heather225 January 26th

@seashell145

you'll get there! and hopefully you can practice here with our many listeners and support systems. let me know if you need any help!

1 reply
seashell145 OP January 28th

@Heather225

Okay, help me.

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Dannyduck January 29th

@seashell145

Hey there seashell. In just four sentences you managed to express so much. I heard self awareness. I heard weariness and wariness. I heard determination. Your post speaks volumes about you. I think you expressed yourself well. I feel that with future openness, as exhibited by this post, you may find solutions and peace. My thoughts are with you. Danny 

1 reply
seashell145 OP January 31st

@Dannyduck

Thanks for your support Danny. I was just feeling sad that it will take some time to grow and learn things. In the meantime it hurts and I just wanted to share. It's so hurtful how people takes the opportunity to teach others. Not you, I mean other comments. I just needed to connect and share with people.

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KathP January 29th

@seashell145 I literally feel you. It's hard and it's unfair. Focus on what you have to offer. My mistake (as I am currently working towards) is waiting on others to make the first move or as you put it, to stay. Be that person who stays. It might not change anything, but it will help you feel better. 

2 replies
seashell145 OP January 30th

@KathP

I have said nothing of the sort. I have not wished for someone to stay in my post. I said I feel insecure I can't express myself.

Are you sure your comment is meant for me? You know, these sorts of comments have hurt me in the past, when I sought help. People misinterpreted when I sought help and caused psychological damage. I think it's irresponsible to try to 'help' people without seeing if their words actually help me or they just toss words and see if it works. Or they get triggered and try to resolve their pain instead of what would actually help me in my scenario. This sort of actions make me lose hope in human intentions.

1 reply
KathP January 31st

@seashell145

No, seashell145. I am not in your shoes. I do not know what you are going through as your statement is not specific. I am going based on my own experience and what has helped me cope with my own insecurities. Everyone is going through something different, and it's unfair that you expect a specific answer or response. I wish you well.

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otter48loves January 30th

Buy a really good pizza, listen to good music, end the night with ice cream and some warm milk. Then the next day commit to a healthy lifestyle, change yourself to be the best version of yourself, one day at a time. Just do better than the day before, strive for perfection. Reach out to those whom you love and let those things off your chest. Hug a lot of people, kiss a kitten and a puppy. Take a fun drive and turn up the music. Reflect how you feel on paper. Then go swimming. Write your day in a journal, and think of how you'd like for tomorrow to be better, it doesn't have to be but a fractions of a marginal difference. Give thanks to your higher power, ask for forgiveness, work on your weaknesses, embrace your strengths, and love yourself through it all. ❤️

1 reply
seashell145 OP January 31st

@otter48loves

You assume I don't know this already. Focus on your own practice.

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otter48loves January 30th

Oh and please send me a response! Thanks

2 replies
seashell145 OP January 31st

@otter48loves

Your response was condescending. It wasn't helpful. It's hard to seek help when people aren't respectful of your pain and your existing progress, emotional intelligence. I already posted " I know it'll take time to grow and learn", your advice is unnecessary. It's hard to seek help when people just advise you, even in a strictly "no advice" site.

1 reply
seashell145 OP January 31st

@seashell145

Focus on your own self development instead of condescending people, learn how to listen and how to pay attention instead of drawing generic information from your mind and spewing it without understanding. Learn to develop feeling your emotions and developing compassion.

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@seashell145 I used to feel the same. Though in my case, I hide my emotions and expression basically due to upbringing,i think. Now each day I try to observe me. I will say to myself to open up little by little and don't be ashamed of yourself.. 

4 replies
seashell145 OP January 31st

@compassionatePomegranate5476

These aren't helpful, come on. Stop posting without understanding. I said, "It'll take time". Okay? In the meantime it hurts. I don't need you guys advising me, especially when you don't pay attention. Just follow your own advice and get better. And learn to listen to people instead of stating the obvious and being condescending, disrespectful.

seashell145 OP January 31st

@compassionatePomegranate5476

I'm sorry, I see you weren't being disrespectful, you just explained your strategy and self talk. I thought you were telling me "Don't be ashamed of yourself". Well, my case is different than you. I'm not ashamed of myself, it's just I have many complex thoughts and ideas and I envy people if I see they are articulating them well. I know I have my own gifts and I'm self aware I'm just insecure. So it'll take time to overcome them and in the meantime I just wanted to share that I am struggling with this and needed some emotional support.

2 replies
helpfulKiwi4855 February 1st

@seashell145 oh sorry, English is not my first language. So the error happened 

1 reply
helpfulKiwi4855 February 1st

@helpfulKiwi4855 sorry wrongly posted here

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seashell145 OP January 31st

I don't want any more "help" in this thread, thank you. Please don't advise me, follow your own advise and focus on your self improvement. If you feel emotionally connected with me due to this, please connect but don't try to force advice on me.

seashell145 OP January 31st

I was looking for some emotional connection and some space, like "I understand the wait can be hard, and I appreciate your efforts". Most of you commenting don't even understand what I wrote so please don't advise me anymore, assuming your intention is to help, this isn't helpful. It's making me feel more lonely and without support.