Motivation for summer

So my issues are the following

- I got yelled at for not cleaning up after myself, it always a while ago but it hurts since it was because of my deteriorating mental health and that the parent yelling at me doesn't understand my issues. I don't like talking to them because, the second they advised me to go to christ instead of therapy I felt like I could never open up to them. They complain Abt their stress but all I want them to do is shut up and get out of my space. I don't even wanna call them family most of the time.

-summer break is coming soon and I don't want to be yelled at again, since I'm not gonna have an excuse to waste away in bed all day. I don't know what to do with my time that won't be an absolute chore. All I want to do is play videogames, talk to *** friends, scribble nonsense in a journal, sleep and scroll endlessly through social media, and the latter two are my only reliable options.

- I could look for scholarships, but what's the point? I don't even know if I want to go to college, let alone my major. I don't want to work anymore. I'm so tired. The world is getting worse every day, it seems

- my hobbies feel like chores too. I don't want to create, it's too taxing. Soul searching is too hard. New music is too difficult to find. Fashion is meh at this point. Maybe emo kids can at least relate to my suffering?

- my first taste of therapy ended miserably, my family couldn't afford it and now the person of the first bullet point can't trust experts. I went to a ward, but i just ended up right where I started, so why tell anyone if I'm in a crisis? I'm just going to cost my family more money. I don't want to risk it.

I was diagnosed with autism, if it helps. I think the first bullet point person has left me alone, and their temper tantrums have decreased with age, but most of my post still stands. I get occasional episodes of energy in this depression for a few hours and maybe a day tops, and that's when I can actually do stuff, then right back to the misery. I think I'll look into depression and how it impacts autism. I also have a task app, so if you can give me a "challenge" for my mental health that would be nice. Thanks